Friday, March 30, 2007

Meme Day

10 FAVORITES

# Favorite Color: Blue
# Favorite Food: Green Dragon Roll
# Favorite Month: March
# Favorite Song: This week, “Chicago” by Sufjan Stevens
# Favorite Movie: I really enjoy movies but this year has been all about TV and I love “Dexter” (but not in that way).
# Favorite Sport: In my life I’ve played soccer, trained in Krav Maga and Moksha Yoga. Each was my favourites in its time.
# Favorite Season: Spring, though Toronto does it poorly at first with all the mud and melting dog crap. But it gets really good.
# Favorite Day of the week: Sunday. Pancake day!
# Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: I like Skor bits in my vanilla ice cream.
# Favorite Time of Day: Corrie Time! Supper happens simultaneously.

9 CURRENTS

# Current Mood: Very tired. That’s why I’m doing this – to stay awake.
# Current Taste: Old coffee. Gaw.
# Current Clothes: Lulu Lemon dog walking pants and an old navy fleece hoodie that I stole from my sister a decade ago.
# Current Desktop: An image of the Earth, selected when I was freaking out about global warming last week.
# Current Toenail Color: Oh hell, I dunno and I’m not taking off my socks.
# Current Time: Noon.
# Current Surroundings: My home office. Behind me, the living room couch, on which recline the three laziest and most indulged animals on the block.
# Current Thoughts: So. Tired.

8 FIRSTS

# First Best Friend: Naomi. We have baby pictures together. Trevor says I looked like Bat Boy with my huge mouth.
# First Kiss: Oh. Oooooh. Yuck. There were braces and slobber. I didn’t need to remember that.
# First Screen Name: Blue Olive?
# First Pet: Noodles! She “went to the farm”. Liars.
# First Piercing: Ears. They got very infected and my aunt cleaned them for me when my parents were away. She was a lovely aunt. She died not long after.
# First Crush: Grade 3, Robbie a.k.a. Luke Skywalker
# First CD: Wow. Roxette? No, MC Hammer!!! Yikes. And look what he did with the money I gave him!

7 LASTS

# Last Cigarette: Summer of ’94 in Quebec City. Cuz if you’re gonna smoke, that’s the place to do it.
# Last Drink: Last Thursday. A Coor’s Lite with my Happy Birthday Green Dragon Roll.
# Last Car Ride: Three #*@% hours on the 401 last night. I don’t want to talk about it.
# Last Kiss: Um, I just kissed the cat. Not on the mouth or anything.
# Last Movie Seen: “Breach”. Great movie.
# Last Phone Call: A lady just called me ranting about her awful husband. Such is the nature of my job. Poor lady.
# Last CD Played: I just played “Single Life” by The Pink Mountaintops because it gets me going. But it was an mp3.

6 HAVE YOU EVERS

# Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: No, but until recently I always had more guy friends than girlfriends. Now it’s about even.
# Have You Ever Broken the Law: I’m sure I broke the speed limit yesterday. Oh wait, I couldn’t have because the 401 is just a massive ^$%*@ parking lot!
# Have You Ever Been Arrested: Not even once, never even close. My father in law should be happy to know that.
# Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Oh yes. Once there was a Thai specialty drink involve. It was called “Bucket of Joy.” I should have known.
# Have You Ever Been on TV: Yup.
# Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: Y’know, I can’t recall. Oh wait! I once got very tipsy at a bar back home and found myself at the end of the night kissing a local television sports caster. Wow, I just remembered that. I wish I hadn't.

5 THINGS

# Things You’re Wearing: slippers, socks, underwear, the clothes mentioned before, and my claddagh ring, which is a stand-in for my marriage ring so I don’t ruin it.
# Things You’ve Done Today: Ate toasted pancakes, walked the dog, called work people, typed work emails, drank coffee. Thing I didn’t do: Remember to take my medication, dammit.
# Things You Can Hear Right Now: Quirks and Quarks podcast. It soothes me.
# Thing You Can’t Live Without: Er, food and water? Air's pretty cool, too. I'm not trying to be glib; it's hard to trust that we're getting good quality food, water and air anymore. I worry about this.
# Thing You Do When You’re Bored: I have a short attention span. I’ve learned to take short breaks and do something active, like clean something. That refocuses me.

4 PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TODAY

# The couch (I gave up trying to sleep at 4AM)
# The dog park.
# The front deck (to get the mail)
# My desk

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO

# Trevor
# My sisters, my good friends
# My Tarot cards

2 CHOICES

# Black or White: Depends. Black T-shirt, white sheets.
# Hot or Cold: Again, hot bath, cold bedroom.

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

# I’d be copying Schmutzie here. Instead I’ll say I want to build my own home from the ground up. And, find a location for that home, the kind of place I can fall in love with.

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What Day Is It?

The one thing about working at home is that people think I’m contacting them from my office. I don’t give them reason to think otherwise. Then they return my calls at 12AM, which is what happened last night. It kicked off a night of Zzz's Interruptus.

Around 4AM, Boomer tried to suffocate us. She aims for that soft part of our necks, the indent. Or, she takes a mighty leap and lands full force on our solar plexuses (honestly, that’s the plural of plexus. I still don’t really buy it. Maybe I’m still asleep. God, I hope so. Wouldn’t that be a nice surprise).

Boomer was ejected bodily from the room. From the house, in fact. She and Kiwi spent 4AM to 7:30AM communing with the raccoons and whatever else. I really didn’t care.

Anyway, I can see from here that Trevor is standing at the sink and from the smell of burning toast, I think it’s safe to assume that he’s fallen asleep. I should go wake him and point him in the direction of the bus.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Pretty and Ugly In One Day


First, the cute spring purse that my parents sent. It'll make me look less homeless. Okay, the budget is not that bad but trust me, this helps the psychological aspect.

Second, WTF is happening to the dog? At this rate, she's gonna need Rogaine (note: I'm referring to the twonie-sized spot, not the inside-out ear. I know what that is).

$100 for the vet to tell me "it could be anything." Though, she did rule out ringworm (did you know they use black lights to find ringworm? She turned out the lights and came at us with a black light / magnifying glass and I'm all like hey, whoa, you're cute for a vet but I don't swing that way)

For another $100 I could have ruled out mange. For another $100 I could have made sure my beloved pet isn't dying from heart worm.

I bought the damn fungus salve and got out of there tout de suite.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

He Likes His Tea Red. Blood Red.

“He doesn’t drink tea,” says Trevor bitterly, referring to a guy in a Lipton commercial who seems to be drinking tea.
“Jeezus. Are you okay?” I laugh at him.
“Bad day.”
“Maybe you should have a nice bath?”
“Yeah. A bloodbath.”

P.S. He is currently YELLING the Jeopardy answers at the TV.
P.P.S. The dog appears to have mange. Or she's going prematurely bald.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Cat, He Suffers


WORKING: I practically sat on Kiwi and he didn't even move.

WORKING: He's lucky I felt fur before I sat my ass down.

TREVOR: he no longer cares

WORKING: You're right. Maybe it was a suicide attempt.

WORKING: Great, I just kicked him in the face. Accidentally.

TREVOR: aw man. his self esteem must be plummeting.

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Monday, March 26, 2007

Kind Of A Food Theme **UPDATED**



Trevor's first attempt at bread, ever! It turned out pretty damn good. Crusty and soft in all the right places, much like him.
















My mom sent me a package-a-la-Derbyshire for my birthday. The chocolate is already a memory. So is half of the shortbread.













Do my parents-in-law know me or what? I'm drooling just looking at the picture. Oh, what creations I shall make!

Not food related, but just as pleasant; my sister sent an iTunes gift card because she knows I've been suffering.

All is right.

UPDATED:

TREVOR: of Mr Simpsons garage is the only one whos afraid
And to thy mangled bosom fondly prest Thus I touch the world saying too late
hear hear
Theyre the bluest you have seen back through time to meet them
take the pill or do
branches thick with That any gain The mountaln at a given distance

WORKING: What the hell are you talking about?

TREVOR: god i love engrish junk mail

WORKING: Oh.

WORKING: I sometimes wonder if it's a coded countdown to the end of the world.

TREVOR: and i just triggered it

TREVOR: oops

WORKING: Your bread has horns in the picture I took.

TREVOR: evil bread

WORKING: Bread of Demons

TREVOR: i'm not sure i'm crazy about the satan loaf

TREVOR: loafistopheles

TREVOR: i assumed that the amount of dough i made was for 2 loaves simply because i had 2 pans. but i think it should've been split further.

TREVOR: lucifer loaf.

TREVOR: beelzebread

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Friday, March 23, 2007

Marital Conversations

WORKING: 1. do you know where the dog brush is

WORKING: 2. (PRODUCTION COORDINATOR) called and asked me if you were incorporated. I said you weren't

WORKING: She said, "oh. Too bad. He would have totally had the job if he was."
So, maybe next time.

WORKING: 3. found the dog brush.

TREVOR: 1. the last time i saw the dog brush, i put it under the sink, where it goes.

TREVOR: 2. I spent our RRSP's on strippers

TREVOR: 3. stop losing the brush, i don't use it.

TREVOR: 4. did (PRODUCTION COORDINATOR) actually call?

WORKING: yes. I told her you were incorporated.

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

Nietzsche

Letter to my good friend T.:

Hey T.: We own Triumph of the Will and I saw it but I can't remember what I thought. It was ages ago. Luckily, Trevor has a memory like a steel trap when it comes to movies. He replies:
i would tend to agree with the "cinematic intelligencia" regarding triumph of the will.. it's not a documentary by any means. Riefenstahl considered it an art film (if not a doc) and it was used by the nazis as a propaganda film (they actually commissioned it).

content aside, from a filmmaking standpoint it's stunning. I'm not sure what it has to do with Nietzsche exactly.
[WORKING: the whole "will to power" as being primary to "will to live" debate?] although i'm no expert on the man, it's my understanding that the nazis sort of "misquoted" him [WORKING: thanks to Nietzsche's sister!].

The latest DVD version has an insightful commentary that would be more useful to her and may address exactly what she's looking for. it's a bit academic for me
[WORKING: Yes, I think we followed it up with a good dose of Superman, if I recall...].
TREVOR: how appropriate. seeing as Nietzsche used to write about the idea of a superman. was that an intentional pun?

WORKING: Ha! No! See? I'm smart without even knowing I am!

TREVOR: T. will get it.

WORKING: Because she's smart and I'm an idiot?

TREVOR: is that what i said?

WORKING: In so many subtle ways. I’m on to you.

TREVOR: i'm just saying she'll congratulate you on a good pun!

WORKING: Oh. Well let's pretend it was intentional.

TREVOR: that's what i usually do

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Month Three Hundred and Seventy-Two

(With apologies to Dooce)

Dear Working:
You are three hundred and seventy-two months old today. Three hundred and seventy-two? Wow. I thought it would be more. It definitely feels more like three hundred and seventy-five.

I’m amazed by the changes you’ve gone through in the last year. I mean, last summer you were practically blond! Then you went kind of dark. Then kind of red and now back to dark, but with serious roots. Here’s to cleaning those up by April.

You’ve gotten so big! And I don’t think that’s a good thing, really. You aren’t in fact pregnant, so it’s really not a good look, Muriel. You’re confusing the people.

Your favorite shows are Coronation Street, Amazing Race, Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, Frazier reruns, House… You know, you really do watch a lot of TV. Maybe you should rethink that.

You love to write and you discover new words every day. Unfortunately, you’re not the great novelist you thought you’d be by now. You’ve never gotten past 50,000 words and nothing ever published so actually, you’re not really a novelist at all.

And you’re broke.

And this year, you look older.

Okay, so three hundred and seventy-two months is f*cking bleak.

But think of it this way; you have a fun job.

This week you got off your ass for some solid work outs.

TV isn’t holding your attention as much anymore and there's a new story idea that has you a bit stoked.

And one year ago today, Trevor asked you to marry him and you did. That was a good move. The best of your life, possibly.

So well done, Working.

Looking forward to Month Three Hundred and Eighty-Five.

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Working

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Tale Of Two Kitties

BOOMER: MY RUG.
KIWI: Shove off.
BOOMER: I WANT IT.
KIWI: Gawd, your voice is so high and squeaky. It seriously hurts my brain.
BOOMER: I KILL YOU!!
KIWI: You are one strange kid. Okay, fine, it's on.


BOOMER: I CRUSH YOU!
KIWI: OW! Get your pointy-assed knees out of my spleen!

BOOMER: (muffled) THTOP CHEWING MY HEAD!
KIWI: (gnawing sounds)

BOOMER: AYEEEEEEAYEEEEEEEAYEEEE!
KIWI: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWRRR!

CHARLIE: My carpet.
BOOMER: Eek! It's a dog!
KIWI: Big deal. I smelled her coming.

CHARLIE: My carpet. My carpet. My carpet.
BOOMER: You know, you shouldn't be tho mean to me, KIWI. I'm juth widdle.
KIWI: Whatever.

BOOMER: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
CHARLIE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


KIWI: Morons.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Strange

I rented Stranger Than Fiction tonight. I know, budget-blah-blah-blah. I made a quinoa salad that lasted for days. Days, I tell you.

Anyway, I really liked the movie.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.

Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?


Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.
One thing: Did anyone else feel like the ending was determined by focus group? Bad Hollywood, bad! (slap!)

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CRA


WORKING: you got a letter from Canada Revenue Agency
TREVOR: great
WORKING: and the Mother Earth News gardening issue.
WORKING: what's the CRA one for?
TREVOR: no idea
WORKING: do we owe money? We can’t owe money yet.
TREVOR: we haven't even filed yet
WORKING: "you owe one billion dollars"
TREVOR: shit!
TREVOR: i don't quite have it
WORKING: "Honey! Check the jars!"
TREVOR: bust open the pig!
WORKING: Sell one of the cats!
TREVOR: sell ALL of the cats
TREVOR: and rent charlie out
TREVOR: hey, there's an idea
WORKING: rent her out for what?
TREVOR: like a doggy escort service
TREVOR: but not in a dirty way
TREVOR: just to be seen
WORKING: You think our dog's dateable?
TREVOR: for people who don't have a dog, or have a bad relationship with their dog. now, with Charlie, they can walk proudly down the street, getting compliments on what a sweet dog they have. maybe meet girls or guys. all for $200 an hour.
WORKING: She has that wonky eye...
TREVOR: it's endearing!
WORKING: It's probably infected!
TREVOR: $150 an hour then

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Monday, March 19, 2007

What's On Offer? UPDATED

I’ve been thinking a lot about why you people read this blog. I’m not infertile (that I know of yet), I’m not a mommy blogger. I talk far too much about my pets but I’m hardly a pet blogger (shoot me now if I am).

There are only two subjects to which I claim any degree of expertise. So I guess that makes me 1) a Trevor blogger and 2) a broke blogger. Not exactly what I intended, but you don’t really pick these things.

We’ve had plenty of the Trevor and he’s not that funny today. So let’s have more of the broke:

We are in Month Two of “Project: 15 Months To Wealth”. We live on cash allocated to jars (Transportation, Food, Clothes, Misc., and my favorite, Entertainment). What goes into the jars is determined by our budget, which was set in stone by a Budget Guru. When the cash is gone, there is no more to be had until the next Budget Day.

Things I miss:
- Decent jeans
- Chapters.ca
- Audible.com
- Sushi

Things I don’t miss:
- Loads of financial guilt

Things that make me a little sad:
- Not going home to see family for at least another year and a half

Things that make me a little happy:
- The thought that I might be able to afford maternity leave some day.

So there you go. Any questions? I am an expert, after all. Ha.

* * *
WORKING: Did you read my latest entry?
TREVOR: oh yes i did
WORKING: The budget one?
TREVOR: in which you state i'm not being funny
WORKING: I was waiting for the fallout.
TREVOR: i've been staring at it for an hour. simmering
WORKING: Oh.
WORKING: Well.
TREVOR: i'll show you funny

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Warning: Strong Language

We watched two movies this weekend. The first, The Proposition, took me back to my one semester of Australian Lit. when I was totally digging Australia circa 1800’s. This is of those great Westerns that make you itch and sweat, it's so well done.

The second movies was Bon Cop, Bad Cop. I really, really wanted to like it. It starts well. The characters are promising, some funny dialogue. And it completely degrades from there. We finally just turned it off and went to bed. I haven’t once wondered what happened in the end, which is unusual because I usually love mysteries. Good ones, that is.

One thing that came out of it: I’ve been walking around the house shouting “câlice!” Maudite! Mon crisse de char est brisé!* You know, if I had a car.

Here’s a story on how not to ruin your kids.
(Via)

*That wasn't in the movie. I was inspired to look up Quebecois cuss words.

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Problem With Billy

I’m in the park throwing the ball over and over for Charlie. She barrels after it with wild abandon because the snow and ice are gone. She goes so fast her feet kick out at angles, spraying clumps of weak grass and soft mud. Despite the melt, the wind is cold and I regret not bringing my gloves.

I catch sight of that guy who owns Billy and Samson. He’s a shorter guy, meek in stature and he owns two massive beasts. Billy is a female Great Pyrenees, a breed described as independent, somewhat stubborn nature, and may try to dominate a less secure owner. A serious worker, but very independent. “Independent” is mentioned twice for a reason.

Samson must be a Mastiff cross. He’s huge and dumb. A scar descends from his head to his muzzle. He wasn’t hit by a car, the car got hit by him. He ran into the back of a moving vehicle and cracked his skull. The vets were shocked he survived.

The owner releases them to run free around the soccer pitch. They run and jump at each other, Billy with a long lead trailing behind her. Charlie drops the mangled tennis ball at my feet. I scoop it up with the chuck-it and fling it as hard as I can and it whips around in the air, spraying drool and chunks of ball. It lands with a thud in the mud. Charlie, however, remains glued to my side. The energy in the park has suddenly changed.

Billy starts by taking off. “BILLY!” screams the owner. This is so common it's almost the official cry of the park. I wander over to the side of the pitch. Billy has run down the hill to the street. A dog walker is standing on the other side of the street, frozen in place, yelling his head off. An oncoming vehicle slows because Billy looks about to leap across the street. But instead she turns and heads back up the hill. “ASSHOLE!” screams the dog walker.

Billy is having a gay-old time, bounding around the park and drinking out of puddles. “BILLY!” screams her owner again. I feel bad for him; he told me he’s spent tons of money trying to train these dogs and everything was going so well. He really tried. But it looks like Billy’s up to her old tricks.
“Let’s get out of here. Too many idiots,” says an older man with a grey beard. He has a Border Collie who hasn’t looked away from the ball once despite the commotion.
“You mean me?” I ask. I know he doesn’t mean me but I hate that way of SAYING SOMETHING LOUDLY to one’s dog as a way of taking issue. Is that a Canadian thing?
“No, no I don’t mean you,” he replies, “if you can’t control your dogs, they shouldn’t be off the leash.” He is still not addressing Billy's owner directly.

Billy’s owner, meanwhile, has leashed Samson and is walking after Billy. No doubt if he runs for her, she’ll take off. She’s independent that way.
“Let’s just go, Charlie. Time for breakfast,” I snap the leash onto her collar and start to leave the park. I turn up the volume of my radio. But suddenly I hear more screaming so I pull out my earphones and turn in time to witness the dog walker passing by, screaming obscenities and threats at Billy’s owner, who stands in the middle of the soccer pitch, both dogs finally leashed. He doesn’t even reply to the person screaming “I know where you live!” He just stands there.
“She’s one to talk,” says someone at my elbow. It’s a woman who’s come out of her house to see what’s going on.
“You mean the dog walker is a woman?” I ask.
“She walks dogs for a couple who live in the neighbourhood. That dog she has? It’s nasty. That couple always has nasty, mean dogs.” Is Billy protecting the park?
“Poor Billy,” I say. But I mean poor Billy’s owner. He has a tough decision to make.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

No News, So Here's Another Commercial...

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!










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Monday, March 12, 2007

I Blame Daylight Savings

I had a dream in which I attended a movie premier with Clint Eastwood. And I had trouble staying awake during the movie and even folded forward onto the floor at one point. It was sticky with spilled soft drink.

Suddenly we were in his penthouse and it was clear Clint Eastwood had taken a shine to me. For some reason I was dressed like a go-go girl. But I just wasn’t sure – I mean, I’ve never had a crush on him in my life. So I looked to Trevor and he shrugged, like, it’s Clint Eastwood.

So I was going to until Clint Eastwood tried to play a trick on me with a colonic hydrotherapy device*. Nope, I have no idea where that came from – I’ve never even seen a colonic hydrotherapy device. I don’t even know if ‘devices’ are used in… colonics.

Too bad, Clint Eastwood. I totally would have slept with you until you pulled that stunt.

* I should clarify, Clint Eastwood never touched me with his colonic hydrotherapy device. I think he tried to convince me it was a bong, or something. I never touched it.

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Saturday, March 10, 2007

On Writing

I spend inordinate amounts of time thinking about how I should be writing. I’d love to be a writer, writers write, so I should write. A+B=C. However, it occurred to me that I think more about the act of writing than stories themselves. When I do have an idea, it quickly cools and gets old, “seen it, how derivative.” I have no staying power.

I remember being a serious daydreamer when I was a kid. I loved long drives because my mind would wrap itself in a fantasy. For hours and hours.

Somewhere along the line my brain stopped working that way. And wanting something to happen is not enough in the world of fiction. Well, not my world. I’m too impatient to pound it out if I’m not feeling it. Problem: how to feel it.

One thing is sure. I am sick and tired of wasting my life waiting for something to happen.

Three choices:
1. Sit here and torture myself.
2. Come at this from a different angle.
3. Walk away from it and do something less torturous and more fulfilling. I don’t want to be the contestant on Americ@n Id0l who adjusts her ill-fitting bra and blows snot into her sleeve, crying, “I know I’m good. I know I’m good.” No, honey, you’re not even good enough for the ‘worst of’ episode.

The answer? Oh, I think I’m feeling it. I’ll let you know.

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Friday, March 09, 2007

We Take Our Batman Seriously

“Dark Night Returns, idiot.”
“Excuse me?”
“The dude on CBC fancies himself a Frank Miller fan and he just said the next Batman movie is based on the graphic novel, Dark Night. It’s The Dark Night Returns. And the next movie isn't based on it. The movie just happens to be called The Dark Night.”
“Fool.”
(. . .)
TREV: Dark KNIGHT, luv. with a K.
WORKING: Woops. Sorry.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

DP41

Today's Dance Party For One soundrack:

Lady Marmalade by All Saints
Cupid's Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes

Happy dancing.

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TED: Ken Robinson

This is a brilliant and funny talk by Ken Robinson on the topic of education. 20 minutes long but well worth it. Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy.

Via Chris and Brenda

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Elephantine


WORKING: Charlie took four ginormous shits today. Jeeze Louise.
TREV: wow
WORKING: I sure miss the raw diet.
WORKING: She used to poop like a dachshund. Now, I'm afraid I could die if I stoop and scoop at the wrong time. Visions of elephants….
WORKING: But at least we have more beer money. Sort of.
TREV: right
TREV: we sure have lots of beer.
WORKING: Now I'm depressed. Piles of dog crap and not a Steamwhistle in sight.

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Chartreuse

The colour chartreuse always sounded wonderful to me, though I never actually knew what it meant. I think I wrote stories featuring beautiful heroine Carla or Beverly and "her lovely chartreuse locks", no doubt thinking it was in a category with 'mahogany' or 'raven'.

Thanks to Go Fug Yourself, I was suddenly introduced to 'chartreuse yellow' (there are two: chartreuse and chartreuse yellow). It ain't such a lovely word to me anymore.

Though I'm intrigued by the drink. Two monks and 130 secret plants, you say?

The beautiful but deadly Carla suddenly found herself in deepest and darkest jungles of France. "The elusive elixir will be mine," she said, as she pushed back her chartreuse aubergine locks.

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Aspiring

In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few.

~ Shunryu Suzuki

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Monday, March 05, 2007

Monday Wakey Wakey

I woke up to my friend James Whittingham saying, "I'm naked." It turned out to be a CBC Radio piece on video podcasts, but for a second I was truly confused.

It was pretty neat that our alarm went off at the exact moment of his clip, though. James, you were on the air at exactly 6:24 AM.

* * *
Currently exploring this.

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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Singing While Doing Dishes

"Love! Love will keep us together...."
"
That or some sort of legal obligation."
Ha.

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

Saturday! Saaaturday!

It's crazy to be up this early on a Saturday. Even the dog's still drooling, likely onto my pillow. Thanks Dog. An Autoshare Suzuki Wagon and me are off to Newmarket.

Actually, I kind of like driving around the city early on Saturday morning. The traffic isn't bad, I like the early Saturday morning show on CBC Radio, and I feel a kinship with all of the other Saturday workers heading out this early. It's like living in a different dimension from the Monday to Friday masses who are spending the day in line at the car wash or D0minion.

Unless you're a D0minion employee with the Saturday shift, of course. You're in the same dimension. Come to think of it, I really should pick up some groceries if I'm going to have the car. And I'll have to wash the car before I return it.

Damn. Same dimension after all.

Meanwhile, go learn how not to be ripped off.

And I've seen this before and it's well worth a second viewing. Ira Glass on Storytelling, via Your Daily Awesome.

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Friday, March 02, 2007

Slurpee Town

The weather is big news in Toronto today. We had snowstorm with thunder, which is just weird. Now it’s raining buckets. So we get snow banks with rivers running through them. What tyres do you choose for slurpee weather?

Plus, there’s a gas shortage; many stations have a $20 fill limit. $20 worth of gas won’t go far for commuters today.

People back home roll their eyes when we start freaking out about the weather out here. Even Rick Mercer had a go in a spot called Special Report: Snow in Toronto (Week of February 20th). I know, I know, why don’t we call in the army? Ha, ha.

However, I’ve come to appreciate what bad weather can do to a city stuffed to the gills with 5.9 million people. This isn’t about the inconvenience of shoveling your walk or throwing your truck into 4X4. Most people in this city commute and traffic is horribly congested on a good day. So a day like today is about sitting in traffic for four hours with millions of other people just trying to get to work. Or, standing in a slushbank while bus after bus drives by, too full to pick you up. The whole city grinds so easily to a halt, like a massive domino effect.

This kind of vulnerability is new to me. I can handle weather, but this isn't really about the weather. It's about the sheer mass of people, mashed to a halt by one road accident or bit of snow. It's claustrophobic, sometimes. And yet, people are mostly sweet and patient. My neighbour shovelled the sidewalk three times last night just so people walking home from work wouldn't have to struggle.

Toronto Fire just said not to walk outside because you could get electrocuted by power lines hidden in the slush. Nice.

* * *
TREV: so a branch took down the power line over the street next to the pizza place on our corner. Yellow caution tape all around, idiots still walking their children underneath it.
WORKING: Oh for gawd's sake.
TREV: paging dr. darwin.

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Third Post of the Day! **LINK NSFW**

WORKING: GUESS what’s lying in the middle of our kitchen floor?
TREV: Boo?
TREV: a puddle of vomit?
TREV: blood?
TREV: the mailman?
TREV: the ceiling?
WORKING: This. (NSFW)
TREV: stop. leaving. your drawer. open!
WORKING: I blame that cat.
WORKING: I should blog this.
TREV: no
WORKING: oh come on! It's high-larious!
TREV: my parents read your blog.
(* * * )
TREV: but it is funny
WORKING: So is that a yes?
TREV: sure

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For the "why did i say that" file

Work Call:

ME: So, tell me a bit about yourself.
INTERVIEWEE: Well, I’ve been in Canada six years.
ME: Oh yeah? Where you from?
INTERVIEWEE: I’m originally from New York.
ME: And you moved to Toronto?! (And I drawl it, like "Tah-RON-nah")
INTERVIEWEE: Don’t say that. Especially not like that.
ME: Right. I didn’t mean... er. Right (cough). So, about your career... .

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I'm Back!!!!

I missed you, baby. I'll never leave you again.

The Lost Month:

- Month One of Project: Road To Wealth successfully under our belt. Biggest accomplishment - creating a week's worth of meals on $40. Bean stew was key.
- New job well under way. I work a lot of evenings and weekends, but I get to drive around the GTA and play with cameras.
- However, I've also managed to return the Autoshare car late twice. One more strike and my membership is 'under review'. I wonder if that's a record, suspended after a month of membership? Stupid 401.
- Last weekend, two wrap parties and an Oscar party. This weekend, Corrie Canuck celebrates the British Isles Show. I know! So much fun! I love socializing. Especially when television is involved, apparently.

Now, a word from our Trevor:

WORKING: Do you like your mix?
TREV: well, it seems very random. and it stops after several tracks
WORKING: I meant the snack mix I made for you.
TREV: ah the snack mix. i was just nibbling. it's good. although next time i might avoid the candied fruit. it just tastes weird with the wasabi powder on it.
WORKING: You mean the candied ginger?
TREV: Yes
WORKING: But ginger and wasabi are meant to be...
TREV: i like it, but we might need to make separate mixes
WORKING: why, what else didn't you like?
TREV: nothing. that was it. i love everything else
WORKING: So we need separate mixes just for that one thing?
TREV: i sense a "go f*ck yourself" in that question
WORKING: I always said you were astute.
TREV: i always said you were something else.

And now, a "how do you do" from the Three Musketeers:

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