Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Down At the Playground

For two days in a row I’ve found myself in an uncomfortable position at the dog park. Slipping on ice, dropping mitts, scarf, thermos, leash while trying to scoop up runny dog poop is extraordinarily uncomfortable, yes, but I’m talking about something completely different.

Last night I arrived to the park to find it empty but for one person, a 40-something bachelor who owns two dogs. We started up a light conversation. Then along came a third dog owner, a woman about his age, and she joined in and for a few minutes it was quite jovial. Suddenly, she brought up a topic about someone who she kept anonymous, but whom I quickly realized was another dog owner we all know. The comments were really personal. The two of them kept glancing uncomfortably at me as they continued to discuss her love life.

What was I supposed to do? I edged away from them, pretending to become more and more engrossed in Charlie’s game until eventually I was standing alone at the other end of the dog park. I could still hear them but at least they had the illusion of privacy.

It happened again this morning with two other women. I was having a lovely conversation with one, along came the other, who I know well enough, and they launched into a personal conversation. I couldn’t read if I was supposed to be listening or excusing myself. I practically growled out loud in frustration as I eased off to feign rapt interest in Charlie.

Isn't that rude? Am I wrong? If it’s not meant for everyone’s ears, why not just save it for later?

* * *

In other news, Charlie and I are heading west tomorrow. We'll fly into Winnipeg and drive the rest of the way to Regina (Don't ask - I have a feeling I could smuggle drugs more easily than transport my dog. Still cheaper than kenneling, though). Trev arrives the day after, officially launching our two weeks of holidays in the prairies. Kiwi will stay home, probably getting better care from Petopia than he gets from us. We'll miss the little monster, though.

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Friday, December 09, 2005


WORKING: BTW, A. and S. are moving back to SK in the spring. I think it's hush for now.
TREV: really? How come?
WORKING: They've been here a few years, they feel they've done what they came to do and I think the big seller was that daycare is half as expensive there. And they could buy a house. And the grandparents are there, so they'd have a little more support.
TREV: I see
WORKING: They also want to do their own projects and I think in SK it might be a little easier to do that.
TREV: yeah, its certainly easier to get something made there than here.
WORKING: I also heard that SK is going to become one of the richest provinces in the country. Maybe there's going to be a reversal of the brain drain.
TREV: so are we pinheads for not living there?
WORKING: I honestly don't know what to think!
TREV: it gets me frustrated
TREV: well, all my life I've wanted to live in big places where there's tons going on. Even if I'm not doing all the things that I could, the fact that its there keeps me interested. SK is a beautiful place with lots of cool people who've done cool things, but it always made me feel plain and boring. When I think SK, I think mall food court and I don't know why. I get frustrated because of the irony that SK is probably one of the best places to live. But simply because its easier? I feel like SK is this heavy bag on my hip that I have to deal with sooner or later. Or it's the Borg and resistance is futile. I dunno.
WORKING: If you feel that way about it, you definitely shouldn't live there.
We can make a life anywhere.
TREV: I know we can. I believe we can. But it feels like everyone else knows something I don't.
WORKING: But I think it just gets to people, mentally. Our lives aren't drastically different for living in Toronto. Yes, the energy is different, but think of our day-to-day lives and what we do regularly. It's not that different aside from a bit more selection. But it is a whole lot more expensive. I think people remember how cheap it was to live in SK and have come to the conclusion that their lifestyle wouldn't be that much different. Probably better, in fact, with more spending money. More vacations.
TREV: i could very well be sitting around watching TV or surfing the net in Regina or Saskatoon. No different. But when I open the curtains, I don't want sitting watching TV to be better than what's outside.
WORKING: I do like the neighbourhood, the way so many people walk instead of drive.
TREV: and, I wanna see somewhere else too.
like Vancouver.
or Halifaz
where's that?
WORKING: Halifax's jazzier sister-city?
TREV: at least it's not Halifad. That didn't last long.
WORKING: Or Halifan. Psychos.
TREV: Halifat had some weight issues.

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Christmas Cards

WORKING: Care to send [FORMER BOSS] a special message in our annual Christmas card?
TREV: yes, I would
WORKING: I wrote wishing you all the best of the season and a Happy New Year (with far fewer shoulder injuries). Signed, Working and Trevor
WORKING: You should add a P.S.. I can write it in (I want to mail these off today)
TREV: Uh, can't think of one right now
WORKING: "a big wet kiss" "a smack on the ass"?
TREV: Let me get back to you
WORKING: Copy that.
WORKING: We should also send cards to your cousin in LA, T. and M. and whoever else you can think of. Do you have most recent addresses? I guess you can send an email greeting, too.
TREV: I will get all of those addresses ASAP
WORKING: Well, it's getting late...
TREV: One more day won't kill anyone
TREV: It won't. But I will.

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

A Poem

WORKING: I'm really super groggy today so I think I may head out and drop off that poop sample* and pick up some castor oil.

TREV: that sentence has never been uttered by anyone at anytime in history. you should print that out, just so you can prove to someone that YOU said it first.

*I feel I should explain it's the dog's.

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

It's Not a Diet, It's a Lifestyle

“You just look different,” Trev answers my question.
“Well, what does that mean?”
“I’ve just noticed you look less tired.”
It’s true. My cheeks are rosy and my eyes are brighter. My jaw line is becoming a bit more defined. Change is in the air, but not without some costs.

“I’m not going to start you on your fast until spring. That is the season of the liver anyway,” Dr. S., ND, said to me, checking over her notes.
“When can I start eating wheat, sugar and caffeine again?” I asked hopefully. I’ve been off most of these culprits for a couple of months and I’m proud of my success. But it’s time to be done. There are pizzas to order and boxes of chocolates to eat.
She responded with a look that indicated there’s been a misunderstanding. This is a permanent change, she explained, “Especially since the effects you’re telling me about coincide with a wheat sensitivity. You should stay off of all of them, actually.” She caught my look, “I know that’s hard over Christmas… that’s why I’m not giving you more to do right now.”
“In January, we’ll make more changes to your diet and add specific herbs. Also, if you can try to avoid dairy.”
Wow. Our supper choices just got even more limited. As for take-out options, I’m down to sushi. And that’s only because I haven’t dared ask for the ingredients of what is my absolute most favourite food.

The signs are subtle but there - I am feeling better. And if it is as Trev says, that I’m even looking healthier, then this is all worth it (Well, maybe not to him since his diet has changed significantly just by association and he never gets to eat Thai anymore).

It is going to be a very weird Christmas. I vow here and now NOT to become 'that person', the "Um, actually? I can't eat that. I'll just sit here looking like a martyr while I chew on this carrot stick so that everyone knows" person. Since I'm not allergic to these things or ill in any way worth mentioning, there must be a way to subtly enjoy a host's offerings in very small quantities without having to raise suspicions or say a word. And then I could fill up on my delicious sugar, wheat, dairy, caffeine free offering to the party. Because I'm pretty sure there will be plenty of that item left on the table.

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Monday, December 05, 2005

Monday, about that time

TREV: Hey do you have $20,000 handy?
WORKING: ?!?!?
TREV: eBay is auctioning off one of Christopher Reeve's Superman outfits from Superman III, one of the only ones in existence.
TREV: Little stocking stuffer idea
WORKING: Ha! I could just picture it. A standing exhibit case in the middle of our living room. "What did Haley (Coronation Street) just say?"
"I don't know. I couldn't see her for the superman suit. Again."
TREV: that damn Superman Suit.
TREV: Kiwi! Stop scratching the superman suit!
WORKING: Oh damn. Spilled my hot chocolate. Crap, crap - where's a towel? No towel! Hey, there's always the Superman Suit...
TREV: Hey, was someone wearing Superman's boots? Why is there mud on them?
TREV: this conversation had better wind up on your blog

Done and done, luv.

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

What Trev and I do all day....

WORKING: I think (our neighbour) is dancing around to Madonna.
TREV: huh?
TREV: doesn't she work anymore?
WORKING: Must be on holidays.
WORKING: Hey, were both of those filters on our phone lines yesterday or did you add one?
TREV: i added the other one in the kitchen last night
TREV: it didn't change anything
WORKING: So it might be the one in the livingroom that is broken.... Maybe it always has been.
TREV: it was fine before
WORKING: It just didn't interfere with the older modem. This newer modem is a bit sensitive.
WORKING: I wonder if I switch the filters...
TREV: could try
WORKING: Enh, later.
WORKING: Oh, we're really getting into Madonna now.
TREV: this is new with her, no?
WORKING: Madonna? Yes. It's 'Hung Up'.
TREV: god she has bad taste
WORKING: Wha-?! I have it on my iTunes.
TREV: ha ha
WORKING: We're going to both kick your ass.
TREV: Madonna should change her name to Matranny
WORKING: I like it. Madonna meets Matronly meets Tranny
TREV: or Machanging accent
WORKING: Or 'M'I really want to direct...'.
TREV: or Machanging religion
TREV: i wonder if its worth asking for an equallly fast modem that isn't wireless….

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