Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Marital Conversations

WORKING: Ooh, my knee is killing!
TREV: Ibuprofen's on the counter.
WORKING: It's from rocking him. I'm going to call it "Baby Knee".
TREV: Or "Mac Knee." Get it?
WORKING: Ha!
TREV: And when he's older and gets pimples we'll call it "Macne".

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Friday, December 18, 2009

Marital Texting

(306) WORKING: Mac choked pretty bad. He's fine now but it scared the hell out of both of us.
(306) TREV: Holy crap. On what?
(306) WORKING: Milk. But it came out of his mouth and nose and he couldn't breathe to clear it.
(306) TREV: Oh God. But he seems okay now? How did you help him?
(306) WORKING: I let him clear it. But I was getting ready for first aid...
(306) TREV: Whew. Are you okay?
(306) WORKING: Yeah... now...
(306) TREV: Full of excitement this kid.

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Saturday, October 03, 2009

Marital Conversations

Working and Trev are sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start. They are both exhausted.
TREV: (leans over and rests his head on her shoulder) Hmmm. You smell like Value Village.
WORKING: Are you trying to be romantic?
TREV: Your skin is lovely and white, like old gum.
WORKING: ...?
TREV: Your eyes sparkle like the water in the toilet?
WORKING: It's been awhile, hasn't it?

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Friday, August 21, 2009

Marital Conversations

Stupid conversations you'd never thought you'd have as a couple:

TREV: (to Mac who is laying on the change table) Oh, you're laying on wet cloths. I'll change those.
WORKING: Why are you changing them?
TREV: ... Cuz they're wet...
WORKING: Course they are. He peed on them.
TREV: I know. That's why I'm changing them.
WORKING: But why are you changing them when he's still having naked time?
TREV: Are you serious? Because THEY'RE WET.
WORKING: But he's still having naked time.
TREV: ...
WORKING: So he could still pee some more.
TREV: ...
WORKING: So you might as well leave those cloths so he can pee onto them instead of dirtying all new cloths.
TREV: But... they're peed on and he's laying on them. That's gross.
WORKING: What's the difference? He'd just be laying in a wet diaper anyway.
TREV: (under breath) You're going to be laying in a wet diaper.
WORKING: What?
TREV: Nothing.

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Sorry, More About Poop

Don't bother reading if you have any aversion to discussion of baby poop in detail. I mean it; this post is the shits. Har har.

So Mac (a.k.a. Big Mac, Mac Attack, Macaroni)'s poops were green, runny, frothy, and stinky for weeks. Very un-baby like. I asked my doctor, my lactation consultant and various lactating friends. From the experts I basically got shrugs and the response that with breastfed babies, it's variety in, variety out. But Mac seemed kind of cranky and he wasn't sleeping that well and the poops were really gross, so it seemed to me there was more to it.

My friends, meanwhile, had all read about foremilk / hindmilk and suggested this might be the problem. The idea is that if you have too much letdown, your baby fills up on 'foremilk', which is kind of like skim milk. Great for hydration, but baby misses the thick, fatty whole milk at the end of the feed. So I tried feeding on one boob per feeding so that he would empty it. No luck, still green. I tried block feeding (feeding on one boob exclusively for multiple feedings). Still green.

So I started pumping. I don't bottle feed exclusively; I alternate between the two. But he's been getting three full bottles a day. One in the morning, one around lunch, one at night with breastfeeding sessions in between. And yeah, expressing is time consuming but frankly so is breastfeeding. He spends upwards of 40 minutes on the boob. What time I blow hooked up to the Medela, I get back with the bottle when he sucks it down in under ten minutes. And not only are his poops back to a nice, yellow, non-smelly baby normal, he's happier, calmer and I swear his naps are steadily increasing in length. Plus, it's giving my boobs a break and I've noticed a reduction in vasospasms. That in and of itself is worth it.

Of course, the sleep thing also correlates with our attempts to follow the 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program. Wait, wait, don't roll your eyes, hear me out. I AM NOT SLEEP TRAINING. Some friends had good luck with it, so I decided to give it a go. The premise is that babies are on a 90-minute BRAC cycle. So you start the clock as soon as they wake up and 90 minutes later, they should be ready for their next nap and you need to start the process of putting them down.

Normally I'm also skeptical of this stuff, but I'd already noticed Mac had a cycle. He slept better if he had a good play following a feed and now that I've started watching it, it's pretty damn close to a 90 minute cycle. If we can get him down around that mark, he goes to sleep with very little fight. His naps will vary - shorter in the daytime - but he's up to three hour chunks at night, which is a vast improvement. And he goes back to sleep a lot sooner. Plus, he's waking up happier. And did I mention his poops?

I dunno. Maybe this all sounds obsessive and you experienced parents are still rolling your eyes. But having a plan gives me the illusion of control. Research gives me comfort. Like I told my Reflexologist yesterday, maybe this is all just a placebo and Mac would be going in this direction anyway. But said placebo gives me confidence, makes me feel happier and relaxed. These positive effects must translate to my relationship with Mac. And that's an improvement.

***
WORKING: Now that he's staring at the TV, do you feel a responsibility to show him quality programming?
TREV: Yeah. Put on The Daily Show.

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Marital Conversations

WORKING: He's so much more lovable when I've had some sleep.
TREV: So are you.

* * *

MAC: (stirring from sleep)
TREV: He looks like he doesn't like where he is. Like Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now. "Saigon. I'm still in fucking Saigon."

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Recovery

(large, wet farting sound)
TREV: Oh. Excuse me.
WORKING: Ha! I thought it was the baby!
TREV: Cool. I'm just going to blame it on him from now on.
WORKING: That's good. Because I never believed it was the dog before.

* * *

So my Reflexologist has a way of tuning me into a better reality. My mood has been steadily improving since seeing him weekly. The hormones seem to be stabilizing, and while I'm tired, I'm definitely coping better.

I had a weird night of burning, overful breasts and a puking, shitting dog. But the baby actually slept quite well. So this morning I woke up with Reflexologist's advice in my head; maybe it's time to enjoy this experience with little Mac before I miss it. Trevor and I are aware this could be our only child, so we better slow down and smell the roses. Or baby poop, as the case may be. And he's a cute little kid, changing every day.

We also cut a deal to help us cope better: Trevor gets a good night's sleep in the guest room while I take the entire shift with the baby (and apparently, the dog). Then, refreshed and rested, he takes over in the morning and I catch a few hours of blissful sleep alone, bed to myself, snoring to the hum of the air conditioner, before the next feeding. And I get another nap opportunity later in the day.

It works because 1. there's no need for both of us to be up at the same time at night, and I'm still breastfeeding exclusively and 2. while I can nap at the drop of a hat, and it's always a solid, restorative nap, Trev can't. He can only sleep at night. There's just no point to us both being exhausted during the day.

Besides, those couple of hours alone are more precious than gold to me right now, and the baby seems happier. Probably because I'm happier. This will only last until Trev goes back to work, but it will buy us some recuperation in the meantime. Dare I say that I'm almost... happy... right now?

(knock on wood)

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Monday, August 10, 2009

Overheard: Daddy Talk

WORKING: (reading) Don't make a move, at least when you're around your baby, without talking about it. Narrate the dressing process.*
TREVOR: Okay. Mac, I am now going to clean poop off of your ball sack.
WORKING: Blow-by-blow descriptions help get you talking and baby listening - thereby starting him or her on the path to understanding.
TREVOR: Mac, I've been on the path to understanding for 35 years, and I still don't know shit.

* What To Expect: The First Year By Heidi Murkoff et al. Pg. 220.

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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Marital Conversations

WORKING: Is he three weeks old tonight?
TREV: He is. (to Mac) You are. Tonight you will be three weeks old. Three weeks old! Half way to your... six weeks... license.

* * *

WORKING: Does Laura Ling ever look like her sister.
TREV: Uh... maybe because they're twins?
WORKING: Oh.
TREV: (laughing) You have to blog that.
WORKING: I refuse to blog anything that makes me look stupid.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Marital Conversations

"I think this shirt is quite slimming. I don't look pregnant at all!"
"Riiiight...."
"Okay then, do the pants at least look normal?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean can you tell they aren't done up?"
"Has it come to that?"
"It really has."*

*Lost: One pair of green-brown pants with maternity waistline. Possibly left in random location at CBC or at Crossfit. Sorely missed as people are starting to notice that I'm wearing the same pair of pants day after day.

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