Wednesday, September 23, 2009

GIST: Feelin' Better

Mac slept for 11 hours straight last night. I don't even know what to say, except thankyouthankyouthankyou!

So I'm feeling pretty damn terrific these days. I'm behind in my studies. Trying to cram biochemistry into my brain kind of hurts. But unlike previous weeks / months, I actually feel hopeful about everything. I'll find a way to make it through.

I'm also back at Crossfit, which hurts in a totally different way, a good way. My abs don't seem to have suffered any long term ill effects from the c-section, however my arms are about as strong as licorice strings. I've had to realize that I was pregnant for the majority of my Crossfit experience to date, so it's like I'm starting over, with my real body this time. It just needs time to build itself up.

Time to say grace:

1. Gazing at all my books on our new bookshelves.
2. Charlie running around the yard on her robo-knees. First time in months she hasn't limped!
3. Mac's little voice cooing and gurgling at me from across the room.
4. Morning smoothies and fresh coffee.
5. Getting to hand Mac over and go to CrossFit, thanks to Trevor.

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Monday, March 09, 2009

Nestless?

I walked into an empty office today. Most everyone has moved on by now. I think the end of a show is not unlike the end of a roommate living arrangement; all of that intense conflict and shared experience gets pushed aside in the haste of figuring out the logistics. Was that pot yours or mine? I think it was mine.

I guess I’m taking it more personally this time because this really could be my last show and I’m nervous. I don’t know what will happen to Trevor and me work-wise over the next year. It could be dreadful, it could be amazing, it could be completely mundane.

But we live in a world of contracts and this one’s complete. Job well done, thank you very much, take care. There is no choice but to move forward. Kicked out of the nest again, hoping our wings are strong. Which they usually are.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

On Belly Photos

It seems to be the trend, but I’m going to forgo the whole belly documentation thing. You know, photos, plaster casts. I honestly don’t really get it. It’s not out of self-loathing; I love to take good long looks in the mirror. I’m fascinated with how round I am. I like making my abs move because they’re so ‘on the outside’, now. I’m intrigued by how the weight is carried so low, how so much more towards the front of my pelvis it is than I expected. I am thrilled to feel the baby move, wondering what it’s doing, trying to guess where it’s positioned, what it sees, hears, feels. Completely fascinating.

What I’ve never really been is sentimental. I have never once regretted that I don’t have more pictures of myself. I don’t think I ever felt the urge to see a picture of my mother when she was carrying me. Trevor is more sentimental about history, but I just can’t seem to muster it up. So I’m going to take the chance and not get professional shots or belly casts. I know me; they would rot in the basement for decades.

Course, this baby is half Trevor and could have his sentimentality. Just my luck it’ll hate me forever for not documenting this more. My first failure as a parent! Now I am feeling sentimental.

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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Socks

I am sitting on the couch, innocently minding my own, sipping my espresso.

Trev walks by and comments, "those are the ugliest socks I've ever seen. They look like a 1960's toilet seat cover."

I believe the Welcome Back honeymoon phase is over.

(And I think he was mad that I left one of his precious Northern Exposure DVDs lying around)

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