Sunday, July 06, 2008

Neighbourly

I emerge from the basement. Trevor is standing in the middle of the living room, concentrating.
“What?” I ask.
“The neighbour upstairs just lost his shit.”
“Oh really?” (we are whispering)
“Yeah. Sounds like he came home with groceries and dropped something and it broke or something. I’ve never heard him lose it like that before.”
“He did one day he when I was home alone.”
“Really? He doesn’t seem the type.”
“I know. When he came to the door to ask if he could play his bagpipes, he seemed really sweet.  Innocent, you could say.”
“You don’t associate bagpipes with people who rage.”
“True.”
“Well, except for the Celts.”
"That whole thing.”
He turns towards the door, “I need to go back up to the Big Carrot for stuff for the chili.”
“You’re going to leave me here? Alone? With him?”
At that second we hear at thump and an “OW!” and a hopping around and a “F*CK F*CK F*CK!”
“Maybe I’ll stick around for a minute,” Trev says.
“Thank you."  We listen for  a minute as he howls and whimpers.  "He must be a student. Really stressed out, on the edge kind of thing. Course, I have a temper, too.”
“Me too. But I just keep it all pent up inside,” Trev says.
“Yeah, and one day it’s going to come unleashed when you take a shotgun to work. Some poor independent production company’s not going to see it coming.”
“Yeah, well, now you can’t say you didn't see it coming,” he warns.
“Fair enough.  It sounds quiet up there now.  The remorse phase.”
“Yeah. So I’m going to go. We really need kidney beans.”

And that's how the chili was saved! The end.

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