Friday, June 11, 2010

Giving Birth

This is an odd post after weeks and weeks of nothing, but something on FB set me off and I wanted to get it down, even though I have less than 40 minutes to get into my scrubs, grab my stethoscope, kiss my kid and get out the door. Plenty of time!

So my friend posted this:

I wish that those in the birth community who insist on calling it "cesarean birth" would read the majority of the (blog) comments and see the PAIN that women suffer when others try to tell them that they gave birth, or that it's "still a birth". Clearly, for many of us, it was NOT a birth, and we didn't "give birth." Let us define our own experience. "*
I've said more than once that I didn't give birth, that I had my kid surgically removed and people have responded one of two ways, "of course you gave birth", and "well, at least everything turned out well." (said with discomfort, which I understand. What I'm saying is uncomfortable).

The problem for me is this: Did I grow a baby and become a mother? Sure. And I'm a darn good mom and I rocked pregnancy. But I STILL don't feel right saying I gave birth.

And sure, my kid is healthy and thriving, but what happened to me was a far cry from "everything turned out well." I struggled for months and months and depression knocked me flat on my ass. Some people's bodies are able to bounce back easily, mine is not one of them. I still feel the repercussions of what was major abdominal surgery. I find it hard to tell my brain to shut up and be grateful for the health of my child at the expense of my own physical health in so many ways.

Not to say that people who give birth have it any easier. The key line there is, "define our own experience." This is just mine.

*not cited to preserve anonymity and confidentiality.

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Anonymous Tracey ~ 9:16 AM

I still feel like I missed out not having a "natural birth" as I had an emergency c-section. However I understood that surgery was the safest way at that time to get my baby out and keep me alive. I am grateful for that. But still I know what you mean - a part of me feels like I didn't get the real experience of childbirth.  

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