Saturday, February 20, 2010

Damn Anglo Breasts

TREVOR: So, do you hate Lisa C. right now?
WORKING: Hate Lisa C.? Why?
TREVOR: Because she posted how much she's enjoying breast feeding, how well it's going.
WORKING: (snarls) A little. But she is Italian, isn't she?
TREVOR: What's that got to do with it?
WORKING: Well that one public health nurse told me that she found that fair-skinned women - women with freckles - typically have more painful experiences with breast feeding.
TREVOR: Oh right. That's so weird. I wonder what it is?
WORKING: We Anglo types have problematic tissue.
TREVOR: That reminds me of when I was traveling with so-and-so in Malaysia and he was so grumpy for days and days and finally I just asked, "dude, what's your problem?" and he said he had really bad crotch chafe. Discomfort makes Anglo-type people grumpy.
WORKING: Crotch chafe. Ouch.
TREVOR: So ever since then when white people are grumpy, I just think they probably have crotch chafe, or an ingrown hair or a hang nail -
WORKING: Or they're breast feeding.
TREVOR: Exactly.

* * *

TREVOR: He just rubbed his face.
WORKING: Okay.
TREVOR: He just yawned.
WORKING: Good.
TREVOR: And he's resting his head against me.
WORKING: So? What are you trying to say?
TREVOR: Just keeping you up to date on the bedtime situation. Keeping your breasts abreast, so to speak.

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1 comments:

Blogger Schmutzie ~ 11:36 AM

You made me chuckle out loud. I needed that.  


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