Thursday, October 08, 2009

The White Stuff

I just shot breast milk up my baby's nose. For realz, yo.

Okay, you're probably sick (maybe literally) of all things breast milk, but it really is a fascinating substance. I read somewhere that breast milk enzymes are good for breaking down mucus. Mackie-mac has been pretty stuffed up, and any of you who've witnessed your baby struggle to breathe know that you'll pretty much try anything.

So here is my recipe for unplugging a stuffy baby nose, completely successful on three occasions (NOTE: I am not an expert. I'm just a Nursing student and I haven't even gotten to anatomy of the nostril in class, so obviously take your physician's advice over mine. Even that random guy on the street is probably more qualified):

1. Start filling the tub with water, or run the shower, as hot as possible, and close the bathroom door so that it'll create a steam room.
2. Express some breast milk into a bottle or container. Prepare a dropper for 'nasal insertion'.
3. Recline the baby and pop a drop or two of the breast milk in each nostril. Mac choked a little; I just sat him up and he cleared it (course, he also gave me a look that expressed his feelings quite clearly).
4. Sit in the bathroom, door closed, and nurse the baby for a few minutes. The sucking action helps clear the sinuses from the other direction.
5. Squeeze the nostrils (gently) from sinuses down. You should be squishing out some sizable boogers by now. Use your finger nail, a bit of toilet paper or a q-tip to scoop it out (feel free to get creative here).
6. Hang out in the bathroom until breathing clears.

You're welcome.

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Blogger Tyler ~ 12:16 PM

I believe it also works to alleviate eye infections. In that case, it's easier to apply directly from the, uh, source to the targeted area.

Also, we had a bunch left in our freezer that was no longer suitable for consumption, so my wife used it to give herself a pedicure.

Her feet were quite soft afterward.  

Blogger Working From Home Today ~ 12:39 PM

No. Way. I never even thought about that.  

Anonymous angdesj ~ 4:59 PM

So Working.....Tyler mentioned on his blog that he is looking for remedies for his cold.....can you help a brother out?? You could be like his Dristan? No?  

Blogger Working From Home Today ~ 5:08 PM

This comment has been removed by the author.  

Blogger Working From Home Today ~ 5:09 PM

Uh. Well. Sure. Why the hell not? Meet me at CrossFit, Tyler. Aaron and Ang can hold you down. I'll bring a dropper.  

Blogger Tyler ~ 1:03 PM

There is literally nothing I can think of to say in response that wouldn't be inappropriate, perverted, icky or some combination of the three.

And I save those kind of comments for my own blog.  

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