Saturday, July 11, 2009

EVICTION NOTICE

TO: Baby Girl or Baby Boy Working From Home Today

Address: Working From Home Today’s Womb

Pursuant to the provisions of Conception October 2008 (hereon referred to as CO2008), you are hereby given an eviction notice and notice to vacate, on or before 14 July, 2009, the premises and appurtenances owned by Working From Home today, which premises are now occupied by you.

The reason for this eviction notice is:

(a). A notice to evict was served upon you on July 8th, 2009, as per an ultrasound performed November 13th, 2008, and as confirmed by Dr. Baby Doctor. You have refused and neglected to pay rent due for any period extending beyond July 8th, 2009.

(b). Substantial damage done to the premises pursuant to CO2008 as follows:
- Groin (hurts)
- Sciatic nerve (hurts)
- Heartburn (hurts)
- Bladder (flattened)
- Bowels (seriously slowed)
- Stretch marks (many)

Refusal to vacate the property in a timely manner will result in an escalation of measures that are not desirable to the property owner due to potential effects on the property.

Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated. Please be assured that every measure has been taken to ensure your comfort in your new residence. We even put the Pack ‘n Play up in the living room.

Dated: July 11, 2009

Working From Home Today

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9 comments:

Blogger Family Compass ~ 10:55 PM

You tell 'em, Working!

Thanks for the laugh.  


Anonymous Anonymous ~ 8:49 PM

I suggest going for supper to Red Lobster, It was suggested to us and the next day Anna came along.

Tina  


Anonymous angdesj ~ 10:14 PM

I suggest having sex. It was suggested to us. It did not work and it was absolutely awful/funny/almost worth taping. Just want to see if you're as desparate as I was, lmao!

Oh and the word verification for this is swallas, but I imagine that won't work either:)

Perhaps this post may have better suited Tyler's blog, sorry, lol.  


Blogger Amalia ~ 7:56 AM

Ang, you cannot offend. I love Tyler's blog and your comments on it.

As for the rest, let's just say I'll start with Red Lobster.

M.  


Blogger Hildy ~ 10:16 AM

I'm with Tina - shellfish...LOTS of shellfish...it worked for me two times out of three.

t didn't work for Ben, but NOTHING works for Ben...  


Blogger Gail Bowen ~ 10:29 AM

hildy's mom

I had a vodka and tonic, a Benson and Hedges and a bath -- stopped labour, but I didn't care, and look how brilliant Hildy is.  


Blogger Eden ~ 2:35 PM

I visited Dr. Kosar and went into labour 12 days early later that day...  


Blogger Amalia ~ 3:57 PM

Ha! You people are hilarious. Trevor's brand used to be Benson & Hedges, but it's been years.

Naomi, I have an appointment with Miller tomorrow.... I may follow it up with a visit to Red Lobster. The double whammy.  


Blogger Tyler ~ 1:01 PM

This is too late, but for the next one, I repeat what I said on Facebook: Sex. Lots of sex. Because after the blessed event, you won't feel like it for the next little while.  


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