Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The Birth: Hours 1 - 12
CAUTION: Birth details may not be suitable for all readers. Reader discression is advised.
I'm in labour. I'm also bored, so I might as well blog. I may pause for contractions but you won't notice anyway.
1 AM. Contractions start, fairly mild but rhythmic so I know it's not just Braxton Hicks. I decide to watch TV instead of waking up Trevor. I mean, what's he going to do? Sit there and watch? It would annoy the hell out of me.
1 to 3 AM. Time contractions using Contraction Master, which is proving very useful. Also, glad to be awake to put bucket under leak in kitchen ceiling.
3:30 AM. Kiwi-the-cat wakes up and annoys me by relentlessly attacking our fern. I kick him outside.
4:30 AM. Nice hot bath. Tired. Climb back into bed.
5:35 AM. Holy crap, now that's a contraction!! Wakes me right up.
6:02 AM Held off this long but decide it's time to call the Doula just to see what's what. She assures me everything is on track and to continue.
6:04 AM. Hello mucus plug. Ew. It lives up to its name.
6:28 AM. A bleary-eyed Trevor returns from walking the dog. "I'm glad I asked you to charge the camera," I say. "This show might be on the road."
He shakes his head. "I'm just annoyed with myself that I'm not more ready. I didn't pack a bag or anything. It's like I'm all, what?! You're pregnant??"
7:00 AM. I try to convince family not to stop by. Buddy KJ described it as wanting to be 'a closet cat', a beast who finds a dark place to give birth alone. This is how I feel.
7:31 AM. TREVOR: Good job. You owned that contraction. You were all up in its face.
WORKING: Oh shut up.
TREVOR: (grins)
8:06 AM. WORKING: Can you undo my bra before you rub my back?
TREVOR: My pleasure.
WORKING: Don't you dare flirt with me.
TREVOR: Trust me. Never again.
10:00 AM. Went for walk. Spoke to neighbour. He asked why I wasn't in the hospital, yet. Actually, a lot of people asked me this. Even the most standard birth classes tell you not to bother going until contractions are closer together. Unfortunately, walk seems to slow labour.
11:00 AM. Call Doula. Tell her about slowing numbers. She says it's normal. Suggests making out or having sex. Decide no.
11:30 AM. Lunch. Hotdogs and chicken noodle soup, cuz why not?
11:49 AM. We break out the Trivial Pursuit.
11:59 AM. WORKING: Who was the orginal host of Wheel of Fortune?
TREVOR: I don't know.
WORKING: Take a guess.
TREVOR: Chuck Woolery.
WORKING: You ass- oh wait, contraction....
12:08 PM. WORKING: You'll never get this one. Name this trio-
TREVOR: Dixie Chicks.
WORKING: You know, I am in labour. You could try losing.
TREVOR: Dixie Chicks.
1:00 PM. Dr. Baby Doctor calls to offer me drugs. I decline. It's not that bad yet.
8:06 AM. WORKING: Can you undo my bra before you rub my back?
TREVOR: My pleasure.
WORKING: Don't you dare flirt with me.
TREVOR: Trust me. Never again.
10:00 AM. Went for walk. Spoke to neighbour. He asked why I wasn't in the hospital, yet. Actually, a lot of people asked me this. Even the most standard birth classes tell you not to bother going until contractions are closer together. Unfortunately, walk seems to slow labour.
11:00 AM. Call Doula. Tell her about slowing numbers. She says it's normal. Suggests making out or having sex. Decide no.
11:30 AM. Lunch. Hotdogs and chicken noodle soup, cuz why not?
11:49 AM. We break out the Trivial Pursuit.
11:59 AM. WORKING: Who was the orginal host of Wheel of Fortune?
TREVOR: I don't know.
WORKING: Take a guess.
TREVOR: Chuck Woolery.
WORKING: You ass- oh wait, contraction....
12:08 PM. WORKING: You'll never get this one. Name this trio-
TREVOR: Dixie Chicks.
WORKING: You know, I am in labour. You could try losing.
TREVOR: Dixie Chicks.
1:00 PM. Dr. Baby Doctor calls to offer me drugs. I decline. It's not that bad yet.
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