Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Death Card

Yesterday I pulled the Death card in my Morning-Afternoon-Evening spread. Death prescribed for the evening. “Oh good,” I thought, “it will be the end of something that needs to end. Some old pain. That’ll be nice.”

Then last night I got home to find this from a friend:
bad news. I will be losing this one too. Heartbeat too slow, calcification, measurements...
We don’t know each other that well, but she started hanging around me when she first found out she was pregnant, too. She was vibrating, she so excited and nervous. She wanted to share every fear, presumably so that I, in my advanced state of pregnancy, could reassure her that I’d felt the same cramps, the same nausea, and look at me now!

This is her second miscarriage in less than a year. As I said, we don’t know each other that well, but anyone could feel her absolute devastation in those few emailed words. And there really is nothing one can say.
take good care of yourself.
I know what this sign off means. She can’t be around me. She won’t be checking my FB updates. She doesn’t want to hear. I can’t blame her for that. A friendship ended before it had a chance. And sadly, another small life ended in much the same way.

Stupid Death card.

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