Thursday, February 05, 2009

One Really Big Helping of Grace

So, I kind of had a full-blown meltdown this morning. My brain popped and I just went nuts. Not window-smashing nuts (though, last week’s Corrie did give me some ideas). It happened when I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I am angry All. The. Time. I have generally been in a state of full-blown inner rage most of the time for the last four or five months.

Also, I am back to avoiding even the smallest social situations and sleeping about 10 hours a night, much longer on the weekends. Ladies and Gentlemens, we have inner rage meets a full-blown Depression. Add a heaping scoop of the guilt I feel that I’m harming my unborn child…and, well, it just kind of hit me hard this morning.

Here’s the grace part: Trevor still works where I work for the next few days. So I was able to call him from the car. He met me outside. We walked around the buildings in the early morning sun. I felt better.

Then I came into the office to find that I am blissfully, completely alone for almost the entire morning.

That’s a hearty helping of grace, people.

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1 comments:

Blogger Family Compass ~ 7:21 PM

If you are at all interested in taking a prenatal yoga class that is much more about the mind-body-baby connection, relaxation, and group therapy (well, not officially, but that was my take) than exercise, let me know and I can connect you with the instructor. It was great to have an hour and a half each week that had nothing to do with anything but the baby and me and connecting with other women who were going through the same things. It helped me a lot, though I know it's not for everyone so no pressure.  


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