Wednesday, January 07, 2009

It Lives! Or So I'm Told.

I just realized that little baby animation in the left column of this blog is about as real as this pregnancy gets at this point. The only other time I felt there was actually a human growing inside of me was during the last ultrasound.
“This is going to take awhile,” the frustrated Ultrasound Tech. said. On the screen the fetus, with its perfectly identifiable arms and legs and little toes, flipped around, stood on its head, and mooned its skinny little ass in the direction of its father.

Otherwise, my pregnancy experience is not unlike the ‘cleanse’ a Naturopathic Doctor put me on once, the most noticeable parts being the woeful lack of real beer and raw sushi.

But one day I was doing something completely unrelated, like rushing to get out a script or scrubbing the toilet (equally unappealing on some days) and it suddenly occurred to me that this human is also completely unaware of me. It grows in me, maybe because of me, but as far as it’s concerned it’s blissfully alone, consuming, eliminating, swimming around, dancing with its own dreams.

This child's whole purpose is to grow away from me, unable to resist the pull towards its own inevitable path. That’s the whole point: I make sure it survives birth and childhood, then I make sure I survive its teenage years. Then it moves on, hopefully healthy and happy and not too shitty to be around at Christmas.

And perhaps I have to remember that I, too, have my own path beyond this person.

posted by Working From Home Today
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5 comments:

Anonymous Anonymous ~ 7:44 PM

Belated congratulations to you both, by the way. It was about this time last year that Kerry and I found out James was on the way. Back then he was "bean" but now he's a chatty little 4 month old motormouth.

I'm sure you're already getting tonnes of advice, solicited and otherwise so I'll spare you mine. I'll just say that I'm sure you'll both be great parents.  


Blogger Amalia ~ 9:33 PM

Advice welcome. Seriously.  


Blogger Hildy ~ 12:06 PM

The best advice I got was from my dad. Don't read anything and don't listen to anyone. You'll just freak yourself out.  


Blogger Family Compass ~ 9:20 AM

When my friend Julia was pregnant, she had this theory about parenthood being all about letting go-- and it really is when you think about it. Your entry reminded me of that. And I can tell you, I'm about ready to let go of this one...  


Anonymous Anonymous ~ 9:44 AM

I think my big advice is financial. Don't go too overboard buying baby stuff in advance. A lot of it will just somehow magically appear in your home because people love getting stuff for babies. And friends with young children will unload boxes and boxes of clothes and toys for you.

Having a baby is a good reason for a lot of companies to try to sell you crap you don't need (just go to the baby show to see what I mean - although baby shows are a great source of free schwag). Just focus on the basics and the stuff that you do need will become apparent after the baby is born.  


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