Wednesday, June 20, 2007


I haven’t updated in a few days (way to state the obvious). My life is full of pressure these days; work pressure, sinus pressure. The pressure of oppressive humidity.

“I can always tell what’s going on inside by how you look on the outside,” a very good friend said to me on the phone today. I think he agrees that I’ve never looked worse. “I can hear it in your voice,” he said, “you aren’t yourself. You haven’t been for a long time.”

Okay. It’s true. I tried not to cry.

“I got your email. You don’t want to hear what I think," he said.
“I want to hear what you think. Of course I do.”
“I don’t agree the answer is in a pill. I think you need to come home. Shake yourself out of this pattern. Get back to your roots. I think that’s what you really need.”

Maybe, maybe not. Home is not what it used to be.

We agreed that it’s a turning point that I’ve finally gone back to the gym. I went to a cardio kickboxing class and caught sight of my reflection, bouncing around with all of those extra pounds.
“I knew instantly that it wasn’t me,” I said, “but I was somewhere in there.”

I feel deep inside a faint thread of strength and energy. A familiar thing, though I haven’t seen it in a long, long time. Now, if ony I can catch the end of it and hold on….

posted by Working From Home Today
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Blogger notquiteawake ~ 5:39 PM

Sorry to hear you're not doing well. I would be happy if you came home...
From someone who just got out of a pretty rough patch, believe me when I say it will pass. I can't say when but it for sure will.  

Anonymous Kerri ~ 12:43 PM

Wow...that last paragraph was so beautiful and so full of hope...I've read it about 20 times now. It made me tear up and feel strong all at the same time. I can't wait to read your first novel.
I miss you guys and hope you feel better...keep exercising the piss out of that bad energy and I'll meet you at Christmas.  

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