Monday, June 11, 2007

How To Get Test Results Sooner

The wall states firmly, “THE TECHNOLOGIST CANNOT DISCUSS TEST RESULTS WITH PATIENTS. RESULTS WILL BE SENT TO YOUR DOCTOR.”
“Can I see the pictures?” I ask.
“Okay. But you won’t understand them,” she says, spinning the screen towards me.
“Wowwwww,” I lean in and scan the fuzzy picture. “That’s my ovary.”
“That’s it.”
“That’s the other one.”
“Yup.”
I pause, thinking. “And that’s a really big cyst.”
She looks up from the paperwork and frowns, “cyst?” she squints towards the screen, “Oh, no. No cysts. That’s a follicle. Perfectly normal.”
Ha. Gotcha.

I did the same thing to the x-ray tech last week:
"Wow, my tail bone looks perfectly healthy."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that."
"You mean that thing?" I say, pointing to a clearly normal looking vertebrae.
"No, but maybe here."

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