Saturday, May 26, 2007

Six Super Serious Proposals

1. I think the verb “to dialogue”, as in “we need to dialogue about the issues”, needs to be met with a rolling of eyes and a firm suspension from the next five office potlucks.

2. I think if the description “cutting edge” is found in pitch documents, Television executives have the right to pour sticky, cold lattes down the back of your pants.

3. I think the next politician to say “Canadians want” should be slapped in the face with a dead fish.

4. I think the next person to start a sentence with “I’m sorry but-“ should be gently reminded that if they were really sorry, they wouldn’t bother saying it in the first place.*

5. I think the next person who refers semi-seriously to his / her dog as “my baby” should be tied to the baggie dispenser stand in the dog park. That one that all of the dogs pee on.**

6. Lots more that I can’t remember right now. I’ll be back.


* gently for now because I still do this.
** not to be applied retroactively or I’d be tied to the stake.

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