Friday, August 04, 2006
Okay. This is the deal.
Talk soon…have SOOOOO much fun visiting and talking wedding with [the Parents]. I know it can be a little painful for you but take it for what it is…this is finally our chance to do something for you and show you how much you mean to us! You are too independent for us to be able to do it any other time….
XOXOXO
Sister II
It’s true. While I like weddings, I have a phobia of my own and people have a hard time getting me to talk about anything wedding related. My favourite part of the process has been talking to the AV guy about lighting and sound, the LBO about beer and wine and the hotel about food.
My least favourite part has been talking about First Dance and the walk up the aisle. I loathe the idea that I have to go buy a dress.
Now don’t get me wrong – I love Trevor very much. Marrying him is the most important thing to me now. And throwing a party for the important people in our lives is a really good idea. We want to do it. I want to do it.
It’s more like… as a child, did you ever look so forward to your birthday but when you got to the birthday cake part you suddenly realized everyone was LOOKING at you? Did you freak out and burst into tears? It feels like that.
Our relationship has largely developed in isolation. We hid it from our employers for a long time, and since Trevor lived mostly in Toronto, my life didn’t change that much for the first year we dated. We saw each other when we could.
Then I followed him to Toronto and this is where we really became a couple. Here in our little bubble of a life. We have no family nearby and only a small group of good friends. I come from a massive family and a fairly social past, so this experience of isolation has been really altering. I’m a different person. I’m reclusive.
Come October, we’re to be thrust into a spotlight. I know they’re our friends and family and they love us and they’re happy for us. I really, truly want to show them a good time. But a big part of me wishes it was just a party, that Trevor and I could be at a table just watching with everyone else. That I could be hanging out with the A/V guy in the back or looking through the lens of a camera instead of being looked at. And the aisle and the dress and the first dance, those are the most intense times of scrutiny and they make me a little, well, queasy.
However, while I’m freaked out by flying, it never stops me from getting on the plane. Luckily, our guests are the type who will understand if we lop off big chunks of traditional this or that. They'll think we're being 'unique'. But you all know my secret - it's the way it is because of me. It's what it's going to take.
posted by Working From Home Today
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