Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Superman Returns!

Dear Mr. Singer:

Your latest release, ‘Superman Returns’, is getting 79% on Rotten Tomatoes, a respectable showing. I could never be a critic myself – I’m too easily entertained. And I was thoroughly entertained by your movie.

You should be pleased to know that your movie made the grown men shriek like women watching a male stripper. God, I hate that sound. Let alone that sound emanating every 10 seconds from a 6 foot, 200+ lb. guy who was wearing an actual red cape.

And then there was that over-styled ‘lead singer wannabe’ guy with his cell phone. The one with his entourage and the spiky hair and the tight black shirt and the chain looped just a little too neatly to his jeans pocket? He wants everyone to know he got his Superman ‘tat’ ages ago and the photographer in the lobby didn’t get it. If he puts his forearms together it makes the “S”? See?!? Why didn’t that guy fucking get it?!

Oh, and to the Russian lady sitting beside me who leaned forward and told him to stop shrieking every time you see the Superman Logo, I say bravo Madam!

Entertaining crowd aside, Brian, Brian, Brian, can we talk? You had me, a non-fan living with a guy who owns a Superman garbage can, actually enjoying myself. But what is with Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane? I admit I’m a little, okay VERY, picky when it comes to women’s roles in superhero movies. Rarely do we see a character as flawed, tough and likeable as Lois Lane, especially as portrayed by Margot Kidder. So why you thought a doe-eyed, Second-Coming-of-Katie-Holmes was appropriate for this role, I’ll never know. She was more neurotic schoolgirl than hard-nosed reporter.

Please tell Ms. Bosworth it’s not her. She read her lines well enough. And I doubt many of the men (and perhaps some women) in the audience were complaining.

Well, that’s about all I had to say. I do wish Trev had come out of the theatre with that look of rapture he gets when he watches the 1978 ‘Superman'. But he’s loved that movie since he was four. It’s impossible to live up to certain expectations.

Take heart, though - as the credits rolled, that big, shrieking guy in the red cape pointed at the screen and yelled “FUCKING AWESOME!” So that’s nice.

Working From Home Today

* * *

WORKING: I had to look up the release date of Superman.
TREV: ha
TREV: you're smarter than Geoff Peveree from the Toronto Star
TREV: he claims Eva Marie Saint reprised her role as Martha Kent from the original. She was never in the original. He said James Marsh played Lois's fiancée. It was James Marsden. On CBC, they kept saying Christopher Reeves. I HATE THAT. Its R-E-E-V-E. No S.
TREV: all it takes is a quick check on IMDB
TREV: couple of minutes.

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