Monday, March 13, 2006

Waiting it Out

Charlie is desperate for her walk. Actually, beyond desperate. She’s reached the point where she’s given up on the whining and pacing and has settled on the couch too gaze mournfully out the window. Every time I move the slightest inch, her head whips around and she studies me intently for any indication of leash-grabbing activity.

Which hasn’t happened yet because it’s pissing rain out there. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to squelch my way across the water logged soccer field to the dog park. I don’t want to feel that cold sensation of dog pee infused water soaking into my socks. I don’t want to stand up to my ankles in mud and God knows what else, getting pelted with rain, throwing the ball over and over while she races around like she’s on a massive, park-sized ‘slip ‘n slide’, effectively covering herself from snout to tail in muck.

And I especially don’t want to deal with the homecoming process. The towels, the mud, the puddles, the dead-grass-meets-wet-dog smell, the dog that won’t “STAND STILL” and “WAIT” like she’s told, and when I finally give up and say “bloody good enough”, jumps on the couch to prove to me that no, indeed, that was NOT good enough.

So cross your legs, dear dog, and hold on for dear life. You won’t get to pee until tomorrow.*

It's Day 1 of the Inner Klean Diet. Trev starts tomorrow because I didn't get off my ass and turn 42 carrots into soup last night. The diet says to start the day with 8 ounces of pure fruit juice, 5 tbsp. of plain yoghurt and one half pound of fruit. So far I've had a cup of coffee and been eyeballing the four day-old pizza in the fridge.

* I’m not cruel. She has a backyard. She’s just decided to boycott it until I take her for a walk. Stupid dog. Her suffering is of her own doing. She’ll beg to go outside soon enough, won’t she? I mean, it’s not like she’ll pee on the couch, right? Right?

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