Thursday, October 13, 2005

That Mean Lady Tried to Sell Me Stuff

I was actually shaking when I sat down at my computer desk this morning. And close to tears. I was so upset I blew bubbles into my Earl Grey (decaf) when I tried to take a sip.

Death in the family? Fatal disease? Dog run over by a car? Nope. An infomercial.

I was flipping channels and landed on one for something called “Blast Body Jam” or something. Hey, I thought, that looks kind of neat. It’s like the stuff I used to teach. I miss the stuff I used to teach. I could order it and recreate my old classes in my living room, I thought excitedly. Yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do!

I flew through the name, address and credit card info. But 10 minutes later the lady with the American accent at the other end of the universe, by the sounds of it, had offered me the 4th consecutive ‘extra feature that you simply need for this work out to be 100% effective.’
‘Er, how much is that going to cost me in total?’
‘4 easy payments of only $63.95. Plus the initial $19.95, of course.’
‘Yes, and we’re sending you a month’s worth of supplements for only a dollar. You will continue to receive these supplements for only $30 a month unless you call to cancel within 30 days.’
‘Oh my, ' I said, realizing I was getting suckered by an infomercial racket.
‘So I’ll just process this,' she said quickly.
‘Wait, can you do me a favour?’
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Can you cancel my order?’ My voice wobbled.
‘The whole thing?’
‘But why?’ she actually whined.
‘Because all I wanted was a simple DVD and this is just… too much…,’ I trailed off. I sounded like a little old lady who just realized she sent her life savings to Nigeria.
‘But we were almost done!’
‘I just… no.’
‘Okay, well call us back if you change your mind.’
‘Yeah,’ I say, but I’d already hung up.

See? This is why I should never get out of bed. "Just stop watching morning TV!" you say.

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Blogger DataDowser ~ 6:43 AM

The Whorey Bitch! She was probably using the money to torture puppies anyway. You leveled her a good blow to the jaw to counter her fancy footwork.

I know it's not the same, but what about those boxing gyms around town, would they help as a cheep second to your favorite form of workout.

I still pine for my favorite forms of dance that my lifestyle no longer allows but sometimes boogying around the living room w/ my son helps.

btw, I'm working from home today too.

yours in isolation.  

Blogger Working From Home Today ~ 6:53 AM

Hiya datadowser,
Trying to watch the pennies and classes in this town are rediculously expensive for what you get. But I did order some Rodney Yee yoga tapes. This will have to do until that damn gym membership I waste money on every month runs out!  

Anonymous Naomi ~ 4:32 PM

I REALLY hope the clock on this blog is wrong or you folks are up way too early for people working from home.  

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