Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wow, what a ride! Whose idea was it to take full time classes, again? Oh right. My brilliant idea. I should have my head examined. Oh wait! I did! And I have the pills to prove it. Ha.
I finally feel like I might be finding a rhythm. Last week was the first week I really started to enjoy Mac, too. I don't know if it is the pills, or the consistent sleep, or just that I'm getting used to this whole motherhood thing, but I really am finally falling in love with my child. And it feels really good to say that. He's also found his rhythm, which right now includes quite a lot of sleep.
I'm also falling in love with my program, Nursing. I attended a weekend workshop up in Saskatoon and was pleasantly surprised to find that my classmates are intelligent, witty, mature and frankly, fun. The instructor is also a really great guy, a Psychiatric nurse by trade. Thinking that these could be my future colleagues makes me feel like I made a good decision, regardless of how challenging it's going to be to get there.
So, in the spirit of all good things, here is some grace in small things:
1. My in-laws, who met us in Saskatoon and spoiled their grandchild to bits.
2. Our new camera! Love-love-love it. Also thanks to the in-laws.
3. Good television is back. House, Dexter, Amazing Race, Dollhouse.
4. Crisp autumn air.
5. Clean sheets.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
WORKING: He's much happier now that he took a big dump.
TREV: That's how I feel when I do, too.
GIST: Feelin' Better
Mac slept for 11 hours straight last night. I don't even know what to say, except thankyouthankyouthankyou!
So I'm feeling pretty damn terrific these days. I'm behind in my studies. Trying to cram biochemistry into my brain kind of hurts. But unlike previous weeks / months, I actually feel hopeful about everything. I'll find a way to make it through.
I'm also back at Crossfit, which hurts in a totally different way, a good way. My abs don't seem to have suffered any long term ill effects from the c-section, however my arms are about as strong as licorice strings. I've had to realize that I was pregnant for the majority of my Crossfit experience to date, so it's like I'm starting over, with my real body this time. It just needs time to build itself up.
Time to say grace:
1. Gazing at all my books on our new bookshelves.
2. Charlie running around the yard on her robo-knees. First time in months she hasn't limped!
3. Mac's little voice cooing and gurgling at me from across the room.
4. Morning smoothies and fresh coffee.
5. Getting to hand Mac over and go to CrossFit, thanks to Trevor.
Monday, September 21, 2009
The anti-depressants make me nauseous, but I haven't experienced a low in over a week, so they might be working? Of course, we can pretty much count on Mac sleeping straight from 8PM to about 3AM, give or take an hour*. Consistent sleep sure helps.
1. The office is done! After a year, we can start unpacking our books! And sorting our bills (one task is slightly more exciting than the other).
2. Nutella on bread. Helps the medicine go down.
3. Trev's bed head. It's spectacular.
4. Mac's morning smiles.
5. Sunday brunch with the family, particularly when it's a birthday and there's cake involved.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Dear Mac: Two Months Old
Two months ago tonight I was nearing the end of the marathon that was my labour and your birth. I can't believe it's been been only two months. I feel like I've aged 10 years, at least in experience alone.
And yet, on the other hand, holy cow, it's already been two months! You're definitely no longer a newborn. You're a baby, with round cheeks punctuated by dimples and huge blue eyes, and the cutest little pointy chin. You're still long and lean, but your ankles, thighs and arms are starting to show promise of roly-poly folds. I can't wait.
In other news:
As I write this, I can hear you cooing in your sleep. I think it's time to join you. See you later for our usual 3AM nurse 'n cuddle.
- You fell out of love with Lamp when we changed the bulb. You'd rather stare at Chimney, now.
- You're outgrowing all of your 3-month clothes.
- We finally started you on cloth diapers, resulting in a lot more laundry, but you seem happier. No more lobster bum.
- You talk. Oh, do you ever. Goo's and gurgles and yells, especially when you think you're alone. We get such a kick out of it.
- You still prefer to fall asleep swaddled up tight with your face buried into something - an armpit, a rolled up blanket, my boob - and no matter what we do, you insist on pulling any available covering over your head when you sleep.
- While you hate getting your diaper changed, you love to be naked. I don't understand how you know the difference.
- You have a lot of different cries, now. One of my favourites is the 'fake cry' when I pull you off the boob to burp. You doth protest! Loudly! With legs all stiff and back arched! I SHALL NOT BE BURPED!!
- But my most favourite cry, and I hate to say this, is your 'scared cry'. It is the most dramatic, mouth turned down, lower lip quivering, puppy dog eyed, most pathetic cartoon sad face ever and it melts my heart (as I laugh at you).
- Y0u are definitely an intense little boy. The way you stare and frown, brow creased with concentration. Your dad says you get it from me. Thank god there are times when you're all smiles, or I'd really worry.
- But son, why do your best smiles take place in the dark at 3AM?
- You're still so strong. You hold your head up by yourself, as you have always, only now you swivel it around to see what you want to see. You like watching water run from the bathroom tap.
- You love being outside. If you're fussy, we just have to take you out out to the backyard.
- You started potty training. Sort of. I've managed to catch two poops and a pee already this week. And by which, I mean I recognized the signs and rushed to hold you over the toilet. Heck, saves on laundry!