Saturday, September 30, 2006

Countdown - 7 Days

Yeah, I miscounted and we have one less day than I thought we did. I'm not panicking. Much.

Today saw Ye Bridal Eyebrow Wax and Ye Bridal Dye Job. Eyebrow tint only $20 more? Sure! Uh oh, behold Ye Bridal Clown Face…. Damn.

In other news, packing, cleaning, remembering stuff, buying stuff, forgetting other stuff, buying more stuff, shoot, shoot, shit, dog-cat-dog-cat, where’s my wallet? This chaos can only mean one thing - we're on a plane tomorrow.

* * *
"It's not the face of a clown," Trevor says, scrutinizing my face. "A dragon maybe. But not a clown."

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Friday, September 29, 2006

Countdown - 9 Days

I’m showered, dressed, I have my face on and Trevor’s proposed to me three times in a row. All before 9AM. We are filming segments for our wedding video. The creative vibe is reminiscent of those last minute, all-nighter papers in University.

I’m not such a fan of those teeth whitening strips. They’ve made my teeth so sensitive that I’m having trouble drinking my coffee. No one messes with the bridal coffee nine days before the wedding. Also, I’m slightly pissed that it’s $50 in the garbage.

Last night I caught a show on a western feed that turned out to be Regina’s CTV. The universe is preparing me for the prairies. I am now up to date on some local events and Tara Robinson’s latest hairstyle.

Oh, my morning smoothie was just set in front of me. This is going to hurt.

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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Countdown - 10 Days

WORKING: If you're feeding Charlie, can you please remember to take more food out to thaw?
TREVOR: oh crap. I was about to after I fed her last night and got sidetracked. Sorry.
WORKING: I totally forgot too. That request was for me as well.
TREVOR: well (harumph!) I should hope so
WORKING: But it's dorky to say, "Trevor and Working, could you please remember to take out meat for Charlie?"
WORKING: Then again, it's worse to chastise just one of us. From now on I shall remind us both.
TREVOR: So from now on, "us" and "we" shall actually mean "Trevor, you useless waste of space"
TREVOR: Frankly, I think Charlie needs to take the initiative.

* * *
For all my previous whining, I’ve pulled out the bridal card more than I care to admit. It just got rid of the renovators who’ve been here for three weeks. No one questions you when you say certain words like “wedding” and “stress.” Helps if you pull out the dress as evidence.

I wonder what it will get me out of today?

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Nerves

WORKING: Are you getting nervous?
TREVOR: 2.5 - 2.62 % nervous
WORKING: Really? That's pretty good. I think I'm more nervous than you.
TREVOR: you're 3.2%
WORKING: Exactly. Cold feet.
TREVOR: nothing a little booze can't fix
WORKING: Or socks.
TREVOR: riiiiiiiight
WORKING: No really, my toes are really cold today.

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Monday, September 25, 2006

Yeah, I'm Freakin' Out. So What?

I wrote this long post about how I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff. Only it sounded so bride’ish and dorky and false, I deleted it.

Look, I’m planning the biggest party I’ve ever planned. I’m spending more on it than I’ve ever spent on any one thing. It’s crazy to think I’m not going to freak out a bit. Come on people, I freak out when we’re hosting brunch.

Overall, things are going really well and I don’t have a lot to worry about. Our families are really there for us. Oh sure, I wish I was skinnier. I wish I knew that people are going to be fed well enough. I wish the hotel would put everything in writing already because it’s been six months since I booked everything and I don’t think having just one piece of written confirmation is too much to ask less than two weeks before the wedding.

But you know, the pressure is not the little stuff. The pressure comes from the feeling that everyone is checking the bride for cracks. I know because I’ve done it. To other brides, of course. Is she flipping out?

If I lose my temper the way I normally do, people are going to say the pressure’s getting to me. They'll raise their eyebrows at each other. Ooh look out! She's going bridezilla! I am not! It’s just me, Working. I’m an Aries. I always freak out. Then I get shit done, get it done well and ultimately enjoy myself in the end.

Maybe they won't think that. Maybe thinking they'll all be thinking that and therefore repressing any anxiety is a dorky bride thing to do. But I know that my temper can be hard on people. So I’m going to blow off steam in many trips to the pub. And try not to take it out on Trevor too much. If you care to join me, I’ll likely be at O’Hanlon’s more than once next week….

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I'm Leaving Him

WORKING: Puzzle: What crumbles like a sugar cookie and has red sparkles?
TREVOR: no idea
WORKING: Whatever was in that empty little clear box left on the coffee table.
TREVOR: ?! How did you know that? I ate it already!
WORKING: Evidence, my dear man.
TREVOR: did I leave crumbs?
WORKING: What did you eat?
TREVOR: it was a sugar cookie WITH red sparkles. It was the takeaway gift from Jeff's wedding. It was very soft.
WORKING: So let me get this straight. You got to go to a wedding in Vancouver, eat and drink your face off while I stayed home and walked the dog and planned our wedding, and you didn't even share the cookie.
TREVOR: I'm....sorry?
WORKING: This is grounds for you being left at the altar. By me.
TREVOR: well, as long as its not ground for getting sacrificed at the altar
TREVOR: 'cause I'm not really down with that.
WORKING: Both options have crossed my mind.
TREVOR: the cookie was really stale?
TREVOR: and tasted like poo-poo?
WORKING: Don't lie. It only brings shame to your family.
TREVOR: I think there may even have been some blood on it.

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Virus Strikes Bloggers

What the hell is going on out there? Three bloggers I like (entirely different Schmutzie’s list) have announced they’re closing up shop this week. That makes several eleventy dozen in the last week, give or take.

Maybe it's an autumn thing and they all think they have efficient, autumn living to get on with. Stacking wood and canning socks or something. No time to muse. Or some sort of weird illness has struck. Or it's a conspiracy and they're being obliterated, one by one. Who's next?

Whatever. I’m still here. I have nothing remotely interesting to say but I’m still here. Are you still there?

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

The I'm Alone Update

I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet. Life certainly has not been.

1. My work week was busy, interrupted by loud hammering as Cute Renovation Guy dry-walled our bathroom. I can’t complain about Cute Renovation Guy, except that he left Crusty Tile Guy to finish the majority of the job. Just me and Crusty Tile Guy for two whole days. Even the dogs didn’t like him.

The pinnacle was when he suddenly started cursing a blue streak. I mean, the f-bombs resonated from my basement bathroom window and echoed around the neighbourhood. I have a feeling it would have been a good scene for a movie. I was a bit too nervous to go down and ask, “er, what exactly did you do?”

What he did was drop something heavy and chip the bathtub, then lie about it and say he’d had a problem with caulking. “I’ll be back tomorrow to fix the caulk.” Never saw him again.

2. In wedding sparkling wine news, two separate blind taste tests resulted in the same stand-alone winner. It’s an obvious brand and I wanted to be so different. Wine critic choices were the worst of all, absolute last choice on everyone’s list, leading me to believe they've burned off their taste buds with harsh shiraz (shirazes? shiraz's?). Meanwhile, if you're coming to the wedding, I hope you like it. I certainly enjoyed picking it out. Best wedding planning week ever.

5. What could be better than getting together with friends who stuff you so full of food you can barely move and then give you wine and (cough) 'aperitifs'? Perhaps not doing it on a Tuesday night. Oh, it was less the night and more an issue of my self control. Bottom line, Wednesday sucked. But in a good way.

4. Luckily, by that evening I was finally recovered for Corrie Canuck's Hen Night, held for two of us getting married soon. It was fun.** We wore ‘bride to be’ crowns and had “Learners” signs tied around our necks. I'm having a casual soiree and I'm sort of freaking out. The other bride's throwing a more formal day, it sounds like, and she's as cool as a cucumber. Very admirably so. What's my problem?

3. Trev's in Vancouver attending a friend's wedding. I've finished my laundry, updated Corrie Canuck, cleaned one room, conducted one interview for work and given the dog a long walk that somehow resulted in swindling another free meal out of M. and A.. So I can now reasonably justify a three hour nap, followed by (probably) sushi and a couple movies. I will scan photos for the wedding video, so it's not like I'm a total waste of space, y'all.

Must run, Charlie's ingesting a root system that is probably poisonous.

**Holy crap, how much did I drink this week? No wonder I'm tired and bloated. I'm probably still pickled.

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Mold, Mold, Go Away...

WORKING: Damn. I have to pee.
WORKING: I forgot that I can't. I have to wait, now.
TREVOR: are you on the phone?
WORKING: No, our bathroom is a shambles.
TREVOR: oh right
WORKING: Remember? Hot home renovator guy?
WORKING: Just joking, luv.
TREVOR: I'm imagining him now and touching myself...
WORKING: Oh.
WORKING: Er.
TREVOR: Just joking, luv.

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Monday, September 11, 2006

WIBT: Advice, Chringrish, Little Giant Girl, Movies

We had a great weekend. Favourite part - blind taste-tasting of champagne with M. & A., wherein the unexpected brand won out (it was meant to be the crap sample against which to compare the others), and then three movies at TIFF. I loved-loved-loved Confetti and thought Pan's Labyrinth was really well done. We were trying to see our friend Brian's third installment of his Saskatchewan series but somehow screwed it up completely.

Meanwhile, Where I've Been Today:

If You Want My Advice From Washington Post via Del.icio.us

The best movies you’ve never seen. From Pajiba via Del.icio.us

Lessons learned from 80’s cartoons via Del.icio.us

The Seatle Craigslist sex scandal according to Violet Blue
(NSFW CAUTION: There are very naked lady bits) Via Boing Boing

Boing-Boing’s linguistic sleuthing some of the more problematic “Chingrish”
. It also refers to a previous post about how Beijing is trying to clean up the bad language for the Olympics.

Little Girl Giant You Tube via ZeFrank

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Friday, September 08, 2006

Wedding Vows

WORKING: So about our vows....
WORKING: I don’t think we should reinvent the wheel. The Commissioner sent me a bunch of examples. We can mix and match parts we like / don't like. I'll also look online.
TREVOR: cool
WORKING: Why don't we cobble together our vows out of movie quotes?
TREVOR: "You're the disease and I'm the cure"?
WORKING: Ha!
WORKING: More like, “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
TREVOR: what movie is that?
WORKING: When Harry Met Sally
TREVOR: ah yes.
TREVOR: never seen it from start to finish
WORKING: “Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?”
WORKING: Lois Lane: Um, um, would you like a glass of wine?
Superman: Uh, no, no thanks. I never drink when I fly.
WORKING: Lois Lane: Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is that you do to me? I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am, like a kid out of school. Holding hands with a god. I'm a fool.”
TREVOR: Lois Lane: How big are you? How TALL are you....?
WORKING: C.C. Baxter: You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.
Fran Kubelik: Shut up and deal.
WORKING: Clemenza: Mikey, why don't you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all-a my heart, if I don't see-a you again soon, I'm-a gonna die...
TREVOR: Kay(to Michael in Godfather III)"I liked you better when you were just a common mafia hood."
WORKING: Nice.
WORKING: I guess I should go walk the dogs.
TREVOR: what movie is that from? That's not very romantic. You suck at this.

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

Heartbreak



WORKING: Go to your email. I found him on Petfinder.
TREVOR: oh my freakin lord....
TREVOR: the mini Charlie
WORKING: He is exactly like Charlie. So, do I make an inquiry here?
TREVOR: are you serious?
WORKING: I don't joke about puppies. Not like this.
TREVOR: haha... think about it, babe. I would love to.
WORKING: Their siblings all died. He’s a rescue.
TREVOR: this is a really bad time to get another dog...
WORKING: Chances are he’s gone.
TREVOR: oh man, he is so cute
TREVOR: If this was just after the wedding, I'd say yes.
WORKING: But what if we can't get him until then anyway?
TREVOR: well, look into it then. I just don't want to be leaving M. & A. with a puppy on top of everything else while we're gone. After is not a problem.
TREVOR: but if we get it, this one IS NOT sleeping on the bed.
WORKING: In a way, I'm hoping he found a nice home.
TREVOR: me too.
WORKING: Why did I go to that site? Why?
WORKING: I just knew I was going to see him. I skimmed all the cutest puppies because I just knew.
TREVOR: are you heartbroken now?
WORKING: Heartbroken? Why?
WORKING: If he's found a good home, I'm super happy. If he's available, I'm....
TREVOR: ha...gotcha
WORKING: How will you feel if he's available?
TREVOR: I
TREVOR: I
TREVOR: sorry
TREVOR: I'm uncertain
TREVOR: he's gorgeous. he's a mini Charlie. I just dunno. But its the same dunno as I had before we got Charlie
TREVOR: so whatever that means
WORKING: I know what you mean.
WORKING: It's just been such a positive experience with Charlie. We've done a good job.
TREVOR: I'm just trying hard enough to keep my eye on the ball in terms of what we've gotta do in the next few weeks. This seems to call for more headspace that I don't have
WORKING: Well, life happens in chaotic spurts.
TREVOR: I mean, would Charlie change? Would she like him? How much more can Kiwi take?
WORKING: The point will be moot if this puppy isn't available.
WORKING: Oh shit:
Yes he is still available, you are about 3 1/2 hours away and we don't have a problem with that if you don't mind traveling to meet/pick him up. -- Pet Rescue Agency
TREVOR: uh oh
TREVOR: I bet Matt would drive us to get it….
WORKING: What do you think?
TREVOR: ask me again when I get home. I'm really swamped right now. I'd say no just so I don't have to think about it. But he is gorgeous and we'd give him a great home, so that makes me lean to yes

* * *

UPDATE: The landlord said no. That pretty much decided it. And yes, I'm heartbroken. But it's probably for the best.

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Serendipity Strikes

WORKING: Holy cripes.
TREVOR: 'sup?
WORKING: So the landlord brings the contractor in to deal with our mold problem and Luv, he is HOT.
WORKING: TV star hot.
TREVOR: easy now
WORKING: Piercing blue eyes, tanned, muscular, the boots and the sleeveless shirt and overalls.... A younger and better looking Mike Holmes.
TREVOR: don't turn this into a Penthouse Forum letter
TREVOR: or do…?
WORKING: So they're checking out the bathroom and I run upstairs to check my work email and I get this request for the show: "Find a grout expert to be on camera tomorrow."
WORKING:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WORKING: I think I'm about to create a STAR.
TREVOR: Entourage, baby. This is how it happens
WORKING: Exactly! I totally sidetracked him from our mold problem. He's calling me later to tell me if he can do it.
TREVOR: use my camera to take a pic if you have to
WORKING: Shit, I should have thought of that and now they're gone. Oh well.
WORKING: He's a beautiful man. He'll be terrific.

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So Tuned In...

TREV: anything from Amazon for me?
WORKING: No. There should be?
TREV: well, eventually
TREV: just a used book I bought. $8
WORKING: Oh yeah? What about?
TREV: It was a book that CBC's "Ideas" was presenting a doc series about. Its about socialist economics. "The Great Transformation" by Karl Polanyi
WORKING: No way! "Markets and Society!" I loved that series! I didn't even know you listened to it.
TREV: I didn't know you listened either. I'm way behind. Just listening to them now.
WORKING: You konw, it's funny. We'd be having intellectual conversations if we took out our ear buds every once in awhile.
WORKING: Not that I mind "what do you want for supper" and "did she poop today?"
TREV: or my favorite, "is there any more fizzy water?"

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Long Weekend is Definitely Over

TREVOR: hey babe. Did you see what I did to the shower?
WORKING: No. What did you do?
TREVOR: I leaned in against the wall to turn it on, and my hand went thru the tiles.
WORKING: You're kidding.
TREVOR: nope. 2 are on the floor.
* * *
WORKING: Holy crap. The drywall is completely rotted and there is a very bad case of black mold.
TREVOR: nice.
TREVOR: I'm calling him right now
WORKING: Exposure to high levels of VOCs may irritate the mucous membranes and the central nervous system leading to symptoms of headaches, decreased attention span, difficulty in concentration, and dizziness.
TREVOR: lovely
WORKING: It's truly bad stuff. He needs to deal with it right now.
TREVOR: He's calling a contractor. In the meantime he's gonna come down this afternoon and cover the wall with some plastic sheeting.
WORKING: I can do that much.
* * *
TREVOR: he's going to come down today anyway and take a look. He's trying to get a contractor to come down ASAP as well.
WORKING: oh my god. Percy stinks.
TREVOR: what did he roll in?
WORKING: I didn't see it. It was in the bushes. But it was very dead and very ripe.
TREVOR: nice.

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Monday, September 04, 2006

Crikey Echoed

It’s all over the news now that Steve Irwin has passed. One of the lovelier blog tributes is by Laid Off Dad. Point well made. I hope to live my life with some of that passion and energy.

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Granny! Come back!

Okay, what the heck happened to Granny Gets A Vibrator? Her site was down all day yesterday and now it points you to a search engine for black vibrators. Did Granny jump the good ship Blogger or did someone hack her site? Granny! Send word!!

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Saturday, September 02, 2006

Things Are Very Different Now

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence.

Philosophy

75%

Psychology

75%

English

67%

Journalism

67%

Theater

58%

Linguistics

58%

Mathematics

50%

Sociology

50%

Dance

42%

Chemistry

42%

Engineering

42%

Art

42%

Biology

33%

Anthropology

33%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

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Mike Derr vs. Working

Very interesting NY Times article here regarding Cesar Milan and his 'controversial methods.'

I think this Mark Derr is a little hard on Milan, sort of paints him with one brush. I'll agree Milan has some old world attitudes regarding gender, but more that he puts women on too much of a pedestal. Like he's trying to empower the women of the world by himself. I see what he’s trying to do, but some of the things he says makes me roll my eyes for its simplicity. However, I can't fault his methods with dogs.

I've used them to tremendous success, far more than I ever had before. The methods aren't so different from what every other 'expert' is teaching, just less complicated and there's a nice show I can scour for examples. I go to the park and hear frustrated owners talking about hundreds of dollars they paid for the best trainers in Toronto and yet their dog remains out of control. In some cases, I've asked them to give me the leash for five minutes and I've got the dog calmed down without yelling or beating. How exactly is that an abuse?

The whole "alpha" thing is taken a bit out of context - this isn't about being an abusive authority figure or mimicking the wolf world. It's that dogs will pick up on energy, that the world around you can be affected by your intention. Hardly a new or unique concept, but the first time it’s been applied to dogs and marketed. I think it's the best theory I take from Milan and it isn't even mentioned in the article, which leads me to believe that Mark Derr hasn’t done his homework or even interviewed Cesar Milan.

Basically the theory is this: if you feel like a leader who has it under control, they will respond as such. The whole world will respond to you as such. Think of a confident person walking down the street versus a distracted, angry or meek person walking down the street. Big difference in their energy and how the world reacts to them. The alpha exercise is for you, not the dog. Derr has missed the whole point.

I’ve tried Milan's techniques on several aggressive dogs now and it works. I've never had to do the alpha roll, I've only "finger bitten" one dog when she was about to bite a human. It got her attention immediately and saved the human a nasty bite. Of course I tailor myself to the dog. D'uh. Milan never suggests otherwise! When I take Charlie and Percy out, I don’t have to work as hard. When I take the neighbour’s Lucky out, I have to breathe deep and really make sure I relax before I even touch her leash. I’m scared of her, I have to be careful she doesn’t feel that. Eventually we’ll build up trust. It's already world's better after just two walks.

Different dogs, different reactions. But I’m trying and succeeding and we’re all having fun together. We’re all getting great exercise. I wouldn’t have done this if I hadn’t come across Cesar Milan. And that’s essentially the whole point.

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Friday, September 01, 2006

September the First

WORKING: The answer is "Winspear".
TREVOR: ?
WORKING: Huh? What?
TREVOR: ‘winspear’?
WORKING: I don't know what you're talking about.
TREVOR: get away
WORKING: okay (shrug)
TREVOR: is this where I find out that you're crazy?
WORKING: Oh for gawd sake, I just email-transferred the rent to you and that’s the answer to the make-it-up-yourself security question. And now you know and now the whole Internet reading this non-secure iChat knows. So if the rent goes missing, it's not my bloody fault.
TREVOR: oh. Fine. thanks.

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Hissing of the Valve

Okay, so slight meltdown yesterday, post work error. It was initiated by what sounded like a dying cat, a scramble for a flashlight, and some harsh words between Trevor and me. For some reason I was convinced that some animal I knew and cared about was getting killed. Kiwi? Lucky? Unfortunately, I ran in the wrong direction. What a superhero.

It was, in fact, Lucky mauling a raccoon and then being hauled into her house by the scruff. Kiwi was waiting on the bed when I climbed into it and pulled the covers over my head. I looked at the clock. It was only 8:47 PM. I burst into tears at the stubborn longevity of the day.

Men get very concerned when women do this. But seriously, boys, it’s the pressure cooker valve. Still, the hug and kisses and stroking of hair is a great tonic, one that will have the desired effect – a return to Corrie and glasses of cool fizzy water.

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